19 August 2008 - Isaan Weddings

Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Isaan Weddings

During my time here in Thailand I have had the privilege as well as honor of attending several weddings. Most of the weddings have been in Isaan.

The weddings take place on the morning of a predetermined day after consultation with a recognized local monk who has the ability to determine the future.

The groom walks to the bride's home as part of a procession of relatives and local villagers. Mahlam Lao (local Lao music with a driving beat and heavy guitar component) is played either from the community loudspeaker or from a pickup truck mounted sound system. Members of the procession amuse themselves with copious drinking of local beer and a potent whiskey called "Lao". The groom is shielded from the sun by an umbrella that is carried by one of the procession participants. The umbrella also is the traditional status symbol and honor for the person walking under it. His glass is constantly replenished. There is a great deal of energy and joy associated with the walk to the bride's house with everyone dancing as well as cheering.

Upon arrival at the bride's house, the groom hands over the dowry (sin sod) to the bride's mother. The size of the dowry (sin sod) is negotiated prior to the wedding and is dependent upon the age of the bride, her education, previous marriage(s), and also the social status of the groom. A Thai farmer to a Thai young woman will typically have a dowry of 50,000 baht ($1,500 USD). I recently attended a wedding of a college educated young woman to a falang (foreigner) where the sin sod was 3,000,000 baht ($90,900 USD!!!).

In many cases the dowry is used to finance the wedding reception with the remainder being returned to the bride by her parents. The payment of the dowry is a sign of respect and prestige as well as a financial aid to the bride's family. Saving face is a very important aspect of Thai culture.

Upon payment of the sin sod the bride's mother disappears to count the money.
Before the groom enters the bride's home he must cross two bridges. Each bridge is a gold chain held across the doorway usually by younger relatives. Each bridge is removed by paying a price - 200 baht in plain envelopes.

Having paid to gain access to the door the groom removes his shoes. His wife - to - be awaits him in her wedding outfit resplendently wearing the gold that she has been given by her husband - to - be. The amount of gold has been negotiated and agreed to prior to the ceremony. Again this is a symbol of respect and security for the Thai people. Often Thai brides will use their gold to pay off debts and then buy back the same gold shortly after obtaining the necessary cash to get their gold out of hock.
The bride greets her husband to be at the doorway and washes his feet. The washing of his feet symbolizes her allegiance, and commitment to her future husband.

After washing the groom's feet, the couple enter the room where the ceremony will take place. Upon the tile floor, woven grass or straw mats have been placed. A low table or square brightly multi colored pillows are used as the focus of the ceremony. An elaborate banana leaf and floral centerpiece with cotton strings hanging from it called a "Pahn Sii Khwan" is an integral part of the ceremony called "Bai Sii".

The Buddhist religion does not have a sacrament of matrimony. The commitment of a man and woman to each other is a pact between themselves with the community as well as monks wishing them happiness as well as good luck. Upon completion of their public commitment to each other and receiving the blessings of the community, the couple register their marriage at the local town hall to formalize their union.
The "Bai Sii" ceremony is performed to obtain health, wealth and best wishes for the bride and groom. The Bai Sii ceremony is not reserved exclusively for weddings. It is also used for welcoming guests, conducted prior or after long voyages, as thanksgiving for recovery from an illness or to help cure someone, and a part of the ceremony where children are named.

The origins of Bai Sii are in the Animist beliefs of the Lao people. They believe that 32 spirits (Khwan) live within us and protect us. The purpose of the Bai Sii ceremony is to bind the spirits within us to prevent them from escaping and thereby causing problems.

During the ceremony an elder of the village or shaman leads the people through the ritual. The bride and groom kneel before the low table or pillows with the left hand resting on the improvised altar. Their right hands hold a glass of alcohol - either beer or whiskey. In his right hand the groom also holds a boiled egg while his bride holds a ball of sticky rice wrapped in a banana leaf in her right hand.

The elder recites and chants from a book of prayers. Witnesses to the ceremony also recite some of the prayers. The prayers call all the spirits back into the body. The bride and groom light candles that are part of the ritual. A long string runs around the circle of the bai sii participants in the case of a wedding - the bride, the groom, and their immediate families - linking them together and with the spirit world.

Towards the end of the ceremony, the groom eats the egg and the bride eats the rice. The egg and rice are washed down with the alcohol to help nourish the 32 spirits.
The ceremony concludes with the shaman taking one of the cotton threads from the centerpiece and tieing it around the right wrist of the groom and around the bride's left wrist. The new wife's family are next to tie strings around the wrist of the newlyweds. Everyone participates in removing a string from the centerpiece and binding the wrists of the groom and bride. The act of binding the wrists is also marked with personal wishes of good health and good luck for the couple.
After binding of the wrists, there is a public display and counting of the dowry and eventually the couple retire to the bride's bedroom where they sit together to receive blessings from their parents. They are now considered by the community to be man and wife now.

The couple now returns to their guests and get down to some serious partying. Besides beer and whiskey, the guests are treated to special foods such as raw chopped up beef with chilies, cow's stomach, cow's veins, sticky rice, cooked pork, cooked liver, boiled pig skin, seafood dishes, fermented fish and vegetables. It is a time of great celebration.