Another Ethnic Lao Cremation

Preparing Offerings for Spirit and Monks

Duang's father was cremated on Friday, 22 November, three days after he had died.  I arrived at the family home in Tahsang Village around 9:00 A.M. to find organized mayhem.

Just as it had been commencing with the death watch on Tuesday, several elderly women were seated on sahts placed on the ceramic tiled floor of the home off to one side of the large room sharing the space with the refrigerated coffin containing the body.  Each woman had a small bamboo woven basket that was filled with several white plastic containers of various sizes each with screw on lids.  The baskets also contained several plastic bags crinkled and somewhat soiled from being used and recycled several times.  The containers and bags contained tobacco, chemical lime, slices of dry areca nut, slices of tender areca nut, betel leaves, "galap nuat" ( Thai or Lao version of Vaseline), often a knife that shows it has been used greatly as well often, and sometimes small mortar/pestle combinations typically made from brass.

The betel-nut chewers spend their time in heavy and often loud animated conversations undoubtedly gossip.  I have often noted that there are no secrets here in Isaan and the extended funeral ritual is optimum for sharing information or extracting information to share later with others.

The elderly women besides chewing betel-nut and gossiping provide an important service for the funeral ritual.  They make many of the offerings that are offered to the Monks, the spirits. and articles to be used in the various parts of the ritual.  Every time that the Monks come to the home to participate in the merit making, each Monk is offered a small plate, dessert plate sized, with offerings of four cigarettes, two plant leaves and /or sprigs of flower blossoms, one birthday cake sized yellow candle, and two rolled up betel leaves, some tender areca nut slices and some dry areca nut pieces.

One night the women prepared lotus blossoms for the ritual,  folding the exterior leaves in towards the center to form a quasi-flower.

On the morning of the cremation, the women were busy preparing the sections of  what I call and best describe as "cotton butcher's string" sii sein that will be used to connect the coffin placed on a pickup truck bed to the contingent of Monks leading the cortege in the procession to the local Wat for cremation.  They busied themselves straightening out the loops of many hunks of string and connecting them together without knots by looping the loops together.

That morning they were also occupied making offerings of an incense (joss sticks), a yellow, a little larger than birthday cake sized, candle, and a sprig of flower buds; all bound together with threads of the sii sein rope wrapped three times around and knotted.

Young Girls Manning the Dish Washing Station

Outside all the activities associated with the feeding and providing refreshments continued for the fourth day.  Once again everyone seem to intuitively know their duties and responsibilities.  Trays of food were carried from the outdoor kitchen to the front yard, more accurately - the two canopies that had been erected in the street in front of the family home.  Guests were quickly seated by a member of the family, given food, provided with drinking water, soft drinks, beer and ice cubes.  Care was taken to ensure that there was always plenty of ice in the buckets at each table.  The tables were just as quickly cleaned after the people had finished eating.  The tables were wiped and prepared for another set of guests who were arriving continually.

The first part of the cremation ritual commenced around 9:30 A.M.  Duang's two brothers and two cousins had their heads and eyebrows shaved in preparation to become Monks for cremation ritual.  I had discussed it previously with Duang about doing the same but she said that I did not need to do it.  She wanted me to take photographs instead.

Duang Uses Electric Clippers On Her Oldest Brother as His Wife Watches

The shaving of the heads and eyebrows is an involved process with several steps.  Just as preparing a male to be ordained as Monk, the person sits in a chair shirtless either holding a large banana leaf or next to someone holding the leaf.  One by one people come forward to cut a piece of hair from his head using scissors and the place the shorn lock into the banana leaf.  The hierarchy for cutting the locks is headed up by the parents, spouse, grand-parents, siblings, esteemed guests followed by all others.  The locks are bundled up in the banana leaf and then buried in the yard.

Electric clippers are then used to cut the hair down to the scalp. For this part of the process a cape is placed on the male.  Use of the clippers is limited to those who actually know how to use them,  Duang had attended beauty school and has a certificate, so she was kept busy that morning.

The last part of the ritual is to actually shave the head and eyebrows.  This was accomplished using disposable straight razors - single edged razor blade with an attached handle - sort of like a long scalpel.  This task is left to a trust and experienced male relative or friend.  The head is rinsed and powdered.  The newly shaved men and boy then walked over to the "inside" Wat to be interviewed by the Abbot to ensure that they are of this world and not nagas.  They then make some vows and are given Monk robes to wear for the day.  They return to the family home with the other Monks from the Wat for the food offering ritual at 11:00 A.M.

Duang, Under the Watch of her Mother, Counts the Money from Tambon Nongwha

The Official Presentation of Tambon Funds to Duang's Mother

After the head shaving a new aspect of the funeral ritual takes place.  In Isaan when some one dies, 100 baht ($3 USD) is collected from every household in the sub district that they live in.  Duang's parents live in Tambon Nongwha which has 11 villages.  At every funeral, several representatives from the Tambon arrive at the home on the day of cremation.  After paying their respects to the deceased person, they sit off to the side of the coffin with members of the family to present the money collected from the households, count the money, recount the money, and count the money once again.  The designated representative from the family signs a ledger that I refer to as "The Book of the Dead" signifying the amount and acknowledging the receipt of the funds.  Just as with weddings and ordinations, monetary offerings are a great display - and a very public display.  At every funeral that I have attended people wanted photographs of the transaction.

Duang Signs "The Book of the Dead"

A short while later, representatives of the life insurance company showed up to payout the proceeds of the policy on Duang's father's life.  The amount of proceeds varies with the policy, Duang's father had a 6,320 Baht pay out ($216 USD) whereas his sister-in-law had a 96,000 baht ($3,200 USD) pay out.  Again there was a big and public display of counting and accepting the proceeds.

Duang Ties One of Three Shroud Covered Offerings for the Monks

The betel-nut chewing ladies also created three bundles of offerings for the Monks.  These offerings of toiletries and other sundries were wrapped up in shrouds like the material used to cover the corpse.  The tops of the bundles were secured with a great deal of attention and effort with sii sein cords.  Duang as the representative of the family was responsible to finish the bundling.  These bundles remained on the floor next to the coffin and when the coffin was removed from the home, they were placed on top.  They remained on top of the consumable coffin at the entrance to the crematorium until they were removed and presented to the Monks as part of the ritual.

Duang Preparing Popped Rice for the Funeral Cortege

Every Theravada Buddhist funeral that I have attended here in Isaan, has had a man walking ahead but off to the side of the vehicle bearing the body.  The man carries either a woven basket or plastic bucket containing popped rice.  Periodically the man spreads handfuls of the popped rice along the funeral cortege route to the Wat as well along the circumambulations of the crematorium.  The sprinkled rice is offered as nourishment to the spirit of the deceased person as well as the spirits along the route.  As part of the preparations for the cremation of her father, Duang as well as her sister, mother, and sister-in-laws had to cook rice grain over a charcoal fire to produce the popped rice.

Even a seemingly mundane task as cooking rice has significant ritual significance when associated with a funeral.  To cook the rice Duang used a freshly cut and prepared banana stalk to stir the grain while steadying herself with a siem, a narrow metal shovel-like tool used in working the rice paddies.  The symbolism is to show the deceased person that the family can take care of themselves and to offer up the work to the spirit.

Duang's Two Brothers

At 10:30 A.M. the local Brahman priest lead the lay people in a ritual to make offerings to the spirit of Duang's father.

The Monks arrived at the home around 1:00 P.M.  Another merit making ritual was performed that lasted about 15 minutes.  Upon completion of the ritual, Duang's father's personal belongings were gathered up and placed in the back of a pick up truck along with the funeral memorials.  The refrigerated coffin was then wheeled out of the house and lifted on to the back of another pick up truck.  As the coffin exited the home, three bursts of firecrackers were set off to scare away any bad spirits that were in the area,

Duang Waits for the Monks to Form Up In Front of Her

The funeral cortege formed up in front of the home lead by the Monks holding on to the sii sein that connected them back to the coffin.  Duang folded off to side carrying a framed photograph of her father.  Behind the Monks, but also holding on to the sii sein as they slowly walked through the village to the "inside" Wat were family members and dignitaries.  More family member, neighbors, and friends walked along both sides of the vehicle transporting the body.

The cortege enter the Wat grounds and circled the crematorium three times counter clockwise.  The body in a consumable coffin was removed from the refrigerated coffin and placed upon steel sawhorses at the door to the furnace.  The laypeople went to one of three places - the covered area in front of the crematorium, the steps of the Bot or in the Sala where the funeral ritual would actually take place.

Duang's Oldest Brother Inside of Sala

Things went rather smoothly but not without some laughter.  A big part of the Theravada Buddhist funeral ritual here in Isaan is calling out people's names to participate directly in the ritual.  When your name is called, you walk over the the steps of the crematorium where you are given an envelope containing a cash offering.  You then walk up the steps to the entrance of the furnace where the coffin is located.  You reverently pay your respects to the deceased person and place the envelope on a metal tray on top of the coffin.  I was up at the coffin taking photographs of the people making the offerings when I heard "Duangchan Veeboonkul", my wife's maiden name.  I thought that it was a little odd using her maiden name.  I waited.  We all waited.  I waited some more.  We all waited some more.  Nothing was happening.  It seemed like an eternity when some of the old ladies started cackling at Duang.  People all started laughing.  Realizing that this was a humorous event, I yelled out in Thai that it was "Duangchan Hale, not Duangchan Veeboonkul" and shook my fist.  Duang hurried to the steps to get her envelope - laughing and embarrassed at the same time - much to every one's amusement.  We have been officially married for five years so she is not accustomed to being called "Veeboonkul".

When the cover of the consumable coffin was removed for the pouring of water and placing of "daugchan", good luck charms, on the body, I was somewhat relieved to see Duang's father in the same position and expression as when I had declared him dead.  I was sure that he was dead but it was the first time that I had done that.  I did notice that there was quite a bit of condensation on his skin when the coffin was opened.  I had not seen that before.  Later, this week, I found out that the family had left the refrigerated coffin on for too long. That will be the subject of a future blog.

The Monks Are the First To Pour Coconut Water On the Body

The Monks were the first to pour coconut water on the body after supervising the cutting of the bindings on the body and the opening up of the shroud.  After they returned to the Sala, family members climbed the steps to pay their respects and pour the coconut water on the corpse.

Duang's Mother Says Good Bye and Wishes Her Husband Good Luck

Duang Pours Water On Her Father As Her Son Collects Daugchan

After everyone had paid their respects and placed a good luck charm, daugchan, the cushion, saht, and shroud were removed from the coffin and placed in the pile with Duang's father's personal items to be burned  on the ground next to the crematorium.  The corpse was rolled on its side so that split coconuts could be placed underneath the body.  I suspect that elevating the corpse above the base of the coffin facilitates the cremation process.  Using heavy cane knives, men made slits in the bottom of the coffin to drain it.

The consumable coffin was lifted by several men as the heavy metal charcoal filled carriage was pulled out from inside of the furnace.  As the consumable coffin was being lowered on to the charcoal bed, a man emptied two Lao Lao (375 ml) glass bottles containing hydrocarbon on the charcoal bed.  Once set in the proper place, the body inside of the consumable coffin was doused with another bottle of flammable fluid.  The carriage was rolled back into the furnace, the heavy metal doors closed and dogged off.  The senior Monk, "Rocketman", then placed a lit daugchan through the ignition portal to set the corpse ablaze.

As the charcoal was ignited, three large fireworks were launched into the air causing large bangs.  Again the fireworks are intended to scare away any bad spirits in the area as Duang's father's spirit commences its journey.



The Last Food Offered to Duang's Father's Spirit Is Buried By a Nephew

One of Duang's cousins took the tray of food that had been offered as nourishment to her father's spirit and buried it on the wat grounds using a siem.

Other family members set the pile of her father's possessions on fire but not before one of Duang's aunts first intervened and removed some articles of clothing as well as his portable radio.

The cremation ritual was over around 3:00 P.M.  I prepared to return to our home in Udonthani.  Duang would remain in the village with her family.  The cremation was over but as hucksters so often scream on late night television "But wait, there's more!"

After a person is cremated in Isaan, there is another ritual held called "Tamboon Roi Wan" or "Bone Party.  This ritual theoretically is held 100 days after the cremation.  In reality it is often held when the family has the financial resources to afford the event - an all day and all night eating, drinking, merit making and entertainment ritual.  When I say that some of the best parties that I have attended here have been funerals I am referring to these "Bone Party"

When he knew that he would be dead soon, Duang's father asked her to take care of him now rather than waiting 100 days or even longer for his Bone Party.  To comply with her father's wish, Duang planned his Bone Party for Sunday, two days after his cremation.

Looking Back At the "Inside" Wat

Dying In Isaan - The End of Days Part 2

Duang's father died on Tuesday the 19th.  His cremation at the "Inside" Wat of Tahsang Village was planned  for Friday the 22nd.

Wednesday, and Thursday were busy if not frenetic.  Just prior to his death, Duang's father, acknowledging, and accepting the end of his days, had asked her to take care of everything rather than waiting to complete the rituals related to his death.

Here is Isaan, when someone dies they lay in their home for typically three days while arrangements are made and family travel to the home.  The body is cremated on the third day after death.  One hundred days after the cremation there is a ritual called "Tamboon  Roi Wan"  http://hale-worldphotography.blogspot.com/2013/04/busy-times-here-in-isaan-tamboon-roi.html

Tamboon Roi Wan, also referred to as "Bone Party" is a merit making ritual that is held 100 days after the cremation of the body.  If for some reason, typically financial, that the ritual can not be held 100 days after the cremation, the ritual can be held at a later date and is called "Tamboon Jaak Khao". Whether 100 days or many years after the cremation, the ritual is identical and the merit is the same.

Rather than waiting 100 days and going through duplicate arrangements as well as costs of the funeral ritual Duang, in accordance with her father's wishes, decided to have the Tamboon Roi Wan for her father on Sunday November 24th.  This added to the duties and tasks that Duang had to complete.

On Wednesday, Duang had to go to the police station in Kumphawapi with the document that was created by the Tahsang Village headman verifying her father's death.  The rest of the day she spent telephoning family, friends, and others notifying them of her father's death as well as giving them the schedule for the various rituals.  She along with her son and his wife were busy buying huge amounts of vegetables, cases of beer, cases of soft drinks, cases of drinking water to feed the mourners who were already arriving at the family home.

Duang also had to make arrangements for the rental and delivery of canopies, tables, plastic chairs, commercial meat grinder, glasses, cookware, ice chests, and all the other items necessary for the next 5 days.  There was also the matter of purchasing pigs, a cow, and chickens to prepare for the visitors and family's consumption.

Duang's youngest brother, who is in the business, was delegated to making the arrangements for the entertainment both traditional Lao music and the modern upbeat Mahlam Zing for Sunday.

After witnessing the activities that were necessary to support the rituals, I now have a better understanding why I do not witness crying at Theravada Buddhist funerals.  In addition to the Buddhist philosophy that accepts death as a necessary part of living and the preparation throughout one's life for their death, the people especially the close relatives are too occupied with the rituals and preparing for the rituals to be able the luxury of grieving and emotional displays.

Elderly Women Maintain their Four Day Vigil In the Home

During the death watch and up the cremation, a contingent, typically 10 to 15, of elderly women maintained a vigil in the room where the body lay inside of the refrigerated coffin.  These women or similar contingents of women at other funerals spend their time gossiping, eating, and sometimes making special handicrafts for the rituals.  No matter what they were doing they were always chewing betel nut (kill maak).  As part of the funeral arrangements, Duang had to provide the vast quantity of leaves, nuts, and tobacco that these elderly women consumed.  The women provided their own lime, spittoons, and tools for making the plugs that they chew.

Throughout the days and evenings people arrived to pay their respects and make their offerings.  They would make an offering of incense to the spirit of Duang's father.  They would light incense from the large yellow burning candle set on a scrap piece of corrugated metal set on the bright blue tiled floor of the home.  The people would hold the burning incense in their praying hands while they softly chanted or just reverently looked at the coffin.  They then placed the burning incense sticks in a sand filled ceramic bowl next to the yellow candle.  They then would seek out Duang to offer their condolences and give her a white envelope containing a cash offering.  Their cash offering would be recorded in a ledger and made as offerings to the Monks in the name of the donor's as well as Duang's father.

I was continually amazed at the help and division of labor that was swirling about me.  Family and neighbors seemed to instinctively know their function to prepare and support the ritual.  At any given time there were at least 5 women cooking food over charcoal fires and portable propane stoves.  At any given time there were a minimum 6 women washing, slicing, chopping and peeling vegetables to be cooked or served raw to the guests.  Men focused on chopping up the beef or pork to form pastes to be cooked or for some of the beef to be eaten raw after being mixed with seasoning.  The men also took care of cutting the pork and beef.

The pigs arrived at the home split in half with all their parts.  Men drank beer and whiskey as they cut and prepared the various parts that the women would cook for specific dishes.  Liver and intestines went into soups.  Bones were also used in soups.

The women and men worked on raised bamboo platforms about 2 feet above the ground surrounded by flies and several village dogs wandering about and often getting underfoot.  Toddlers wandered about oblivious to the work going on all around them.

Younger women and teenage girls traveled back and forth between the tables in the front yard and the people sitting on sahts inside of the home carrying trays of food and dirty dishes.  This is typical at these type of events.  Starting at around the age of 12, young girls contribute to the event by being servers - ensuring that people have food, drink,and ice along with cleaning tables and returning dirty dishes to be washed at the outdoor wash station.

Duang's daughter was for just about the entire time was occupied washing huge plastic tubs of dishes, glasses and cooking pots with plenty of help from younger female cousins.

Duang skitted about welcoming guests, paying bills, socializing, bringing ice to where it was needed, ensuring people were comfortable, and going off several times to local markets to purchase more items.  She had very little sleep during the night because Lao Loum people love to socialize.

I stayed away during the day but returned in the evenings for the evening rituals involving the Monks.

Places Setup for the Arrival of the Monks

Each evening, six to seven Monks arrived at the home around 7:00 P.M.  The purpose of their visit to the home was to conduct a special ritual for the offering of food to the spirit of Duang's departed father.  Duang's cousin who is an Abbott at a Wat in another village arrived each night with the Monk that assists him and most likely replace him in time.  Duang's cousin took the lead in the ritual chanting with "Rocketman" the senior Monk at the "Inside" Wat in Tahsang Village supporting him along with two other monks.  The other Monks did not fully participate in all the chanting.

Duang Making An Offering of Incense to Commence the Ritual As "Rocketman" Looks On

This Spirit Feeding Ritual was special.  There was a special wood carved gilded table that supported  a special wood carved gilded box that contained Buddhist scripture. The special box reminded me of the Ark of the Covenant.  The scripture was a special, perhaps hand printed, book of writing and pictures.  The book was about two feet wide and six inches long.  Before the start of the ritual, the book was removed from the chest, the cover returned to the chest, the book opened to a specific page, and placed on top of the chest.

Duang Makes Offering to Each Monk

As is typical in many of these religious rituals, offerings of cash were made to the Monks.  Cash is presented to each Monk in a plain white envelope.  Themes that I often write on in this blog are "There is the way that things are supposed to be and then there is the way that things are"  and "Things are not always what they appear to be"  These themes definitely apply in the case of these offerings.  Monks give up all their possessions and renounce worldly possessions upon becoming Bhikkhus.  Monks are not supposed to touch or handle money.  Despite that, people seem to always be offering and collecting money for the Monks.  I was shocked to learn that 20,000 baht ($666 USD) had been given to the Monks each night.  I questioned Duang why so much for people who renounced worldly goods.  She told me that it was for electricity, water, septic service and maintenance of the Wat grounds  I make no judgement and only share observations.  We live the good western life in our home - 1,500 baht average a month for electricity, 150 baht a month for service water, and have our septic  tank pumped once a year for 1,000 baht.

Duang Participating In Evening Ritual

Since Duang is the youngest daughter and responsible for taking care of her parents, she represented the family in participating in the ritual.  Rather than sitting with the other women on the other side of the room, she sat on the saht covered floor on the side with the men.  To start the ritual she lit two yellow candles and two joss sticks (incense sticks).  The candles and incense were placed on the top of the ornate table in front of the chest.

This ritual featured some different type of chanting than I am accustomed to.  For the most part of the chanting, the four senior or lead Monks had hand held fan like object shielding their faces.  I asked Duang about what was going on.  The Monks were speaking to the spirit of Duang's father.  When Monks are speaking (chanting) directly to Pii (spirits) they shield their faces.  I asked Duang what they were chanting.  She said that they were saying things like "Good luck to you"  "You go up now"  "You are loved and will be missed by people here"  I pressed her for more details but she did not know.  The Monks were speaking in Pali.  Duang can speak Pali to the extent that it is used in daily offerings but this was beyond her comprehension.  Whatever they were saying it was impressive, almost hypnotic, and reassuring.  Part of the ritual involved the reciting in Pali of the Three Gems of Buddhism which I am able to participate in - always to the surprise of the local people as well as Monks.

Food Offering On Tray to Feed the Spirit of Duang's Father

Part of the ritual involved placing a tray of food and drink in front of the Monks to be blessed. The tray also contained the same offerings of 3 cigarettes, green leaves, and prepared betel-nut plugs that were on plates next to each of the Monks.  As the Monks were chanting into the hand held shields, the Abbott sprinkled water on top of the offerings for Duang's father.  The sprinkling of water and pouring of water in Theravada Buddhism conveys the merit being made by people of this world to the spirits of departed people.

Duang Pouring Water  To Convey Merit to the Spirits, Specifically Her father's

Duang then carried the tray and drink for her father's spirit the short distance to his coffin and placed it beneath the tripod holding his framed photograph.  She reverently placed the tray on the floor and spoke some loving words to her father in Lao.

The ritual was then concluded with the Monks returning to their Wats and after saying good bye to my wife, me returning to Udonthani.

Thanksgiving 2016

Tomorrow is Thursday November 28th here in Thailand; a day like every other day here.

Thailand does not celebrate or recognize Thanksgiving.

However, people do not need any government sanctioning of any specific day to reflect upon, give thanks, and to rejoice for all that is good in their life.

Yes, tomorrow will be a day like any other day for me here in Isaan.  Every day I contemplate, appreciate, and take comfort for all that is good in my life.

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays.

Thanksgiving is a time for families to gather together to feast and celebrate the blessings of the past year.

Some years are not as bountiful as others.

Some years are more challenging than others.

However Thanksgiving Day is a day to be thankful for what we have and not to focus on what we wish that we had, or to focus on what we do not have. If for no other reason, being alive is reason enough to give thanks on Thanksgiving. With life there is hope; hope for a better tomorrow or some other day after.

This Thanksgiving I am once again thankful for the things and experiences that I have or have had. As much as I am thankful for my current situation, I am also thankful for the many blessings that I have had and some that I no longer can enjoy.  If it were not for the trials, tribulations, and challenges that we have endured, I believe that we would not be who we are today.

As much as what we have today brings us joy and contentment, it was yesterday and our past that have brought us to today. It is our past that has prepared us for today and for all the days to come.

Tomorrow, as well as for all other days, I will be thankful for the love, experiences, and guidance that I have received from family and friends. They affected my life in ways that are impossible to quantify or for me to fully express in words. Shared experiences with them taught me and assisted me in developing my personal values. The memories of shared holidays, vacations, celebrations, and ordinary days with them remain both a comfort as well as inspiration. The gifts of family, companionship and friendship are reason enough to give thanks tomorrow as well as every day.

There is abundant reason to be thankful for having been raised in a country and during a time where excellent quality free public education was available to everyone. Even today in many parts of the world, children do not have access to a free quality education.

I am thankful for having been raised in a country where I was free to fail and much more importantly free to succeed to the extent that I, myself, determined. My position and goals in life were not restricted by anyone or any institution. My parent's education, occupation, economic, or social status did not limit my prospects. Today, this is not true for many people even in some Western countries.

Another reason to be thankful is for our families and friends that are part of our daily life. 

More and better possessions will not necessarily make anyone happy, more happy or even provide contentment.

Happiness and contentment are a state of mind.

It is the longing and preoccupation with what they do not have that prevents so many people from being happy.

My wish for everyone this Thanksgiving is that you can realize, and appreciate the happiness a well as contentment that the opportunity of life provides.

Dying In Isaan - The End of Days

WARNING:  This blog contains images that some people may find disturbing or perhaps offensive.  The photographs of death are documentation of the rituals and customs of the ethnic Lao people of Northeast Thailand.  These photographs were taken at the request of my wife and with the acceptance of the family.  I was not alone in taking photographs of this nature.  The intent in sharing the photographs and observations of the rituals is to describe a culture that many people may not be familiar with.

Duang's 76 year old father has been dying since July.  A lifelong smoker and a heavy drinker, he had been in ill health for a long time.  But it was in July that his health deterioration accelerated.

He had been hospitalized several times only to be released to return to his home.  I do not know what his diagnosis was but according to Duang "his insides no good"  Upon pressing her further as to what was wrong with her father, she said that she had seen and x-ray and one of her father's lings had "too much white inside".  It seems that her father had lung cancer.  Given his history of smoking, it seems to be a reasonable assumption.

The preceding anecdote give a glimpse into the state of health care for the majority of people here in Isaan.  Patients and their family are not fully informed of the condition or alternative treatments - much like US health care was in the 1950s - "The doctor knows all and knows best.  Details will only confuse the patient and people"

There is a stereotypical belief that "Life is cheap" in Asia.   I have not seen evidence of that during the seven years that I have been in Southeast Asia.  To the contrary, I have witnessed the love, care, and nurturing of the people for each other.

The Buddhist attitude towards death is best expressed by Wade Davis, a renowned Canadian Anthropologist and contributor to several National Geographic documentaries, in his documentary series "Light At the End of the World" ... "The Buddhists spend all their lives getting ready for a moment that we spend most of our lives pretending does not exist, which is the moment of our death" 

Here in Isaan, death is a milestone of life which is familiar to and accepted by the the people from a very early age. The conclusion of this life, which for many people has been very difficult, presents the hope as well as opportunity for a better and easier life in the future - another step towards enlightenment.

As I witness the pain and suffering of people in the West as they artificially struggle at great costs; emotional, suffering, and monetary, to delay the inevitable, I often give pause to contemplate the best way to live and die.  Here in Isaan, death comes quicker due to a lack of money and facilities. Surgery and chemotherapy were not considered to be an option for Duang's father due to concerns over quality of life issues, a lack of financial resources, and a rather accepting attitude towards the inevitability of death.  At what point should we allow ourselves or others to let go and conclude the suffering?  For me, accepting the inevitability of death and deciding to not needlessly prolong it does not constitute devaluing life let alone causing life to become cheap.  The care, love, and respect that was given to Duang's father in his final days indicated to me that his life was in no way considered to be cheap rather it was cherished and respected.

Duang's father went back into the hospital on Monday 18th November.  He had not been eating for a few days and was prepared for his death.  He went to the hospital because he had difficulty breathing and wanted to die at the hospital.  He was admitted into the Intensive Care Unit at the Kumphawapi Hospital.  Duang was given a list of items to purchase for the care of her father in the ICU.  Here in Thailand at the smaller hospitals where the local people go for care, family and friends are responsible for the non-medical car of the patients.  Family and friends bathe, dress, and change bed linens for the patient.  They also are responsible for assisting the patients to the bathroom, emptying bed pans and urine collection bags.

Duang returned from the hospital Monday night with her son and his wife.  She said that her father was on oxygen and that they would give him blood transfusions in the morning.  Tests had been performed, family members screened and identified as blood donors for the morning.  He then would be released to return home after being examined by the lead doctor.  Duang's son and his wife stayed at our home since it would be an early wake-up in the morning.

At 6:00 A.M., our daughter-in-law knocked on our bedroom door.  She had gotten a phone call from the family in the village informing her that Duang's father had been taken off of oxygen and would be sent home after the hospital doctor had examined him.  Duang, her son and his wife left immediately.  Duang requested that I drive out to either the hospital or the village after I had showered, shaved and eaten breakfast.

Duang later called me to inform me that her father had returned to his home in Tahsang Village.  After the one hour drive, I arrived at the village around 10:00 A.M. to participate in the death watch.

Death watch in Isaan

Arrived at Duang's parents home to find her father laying upon a makeshift bed on the tile floor in the main room of the house surrounded by family members.  His hands laid in his lap clutching a wad of baht, Thai currency.  The money was given to him for the journey that he was about to undertake.  The money along with other offerings will be cremated with him.

There was a very strained atmosphere in the room.  People were tense awaiting the inevitable. Many of the people had tears in their eyes but every one was reserved as well as in control of their emotions.  There was no sobbing or audible crying.  There was a great deal of caring, concern, and tenderness.  Duang's father was still alive but seemed to be comatose.

As the youngest daughter, Duang is responsible for taking care of her parents.  As such, she took the lead during the death watch and for all the activities that occur after the death.  I was amazed and proud at her strength, tenderness and dignity - not that I did not expect it.  However one does not really know exactly how they or any one will perform when confronted with extremely difficult challenges until they actually occur.

Duang speaking to her father

A great focus of the death watch was determining if the person had died.  Duang periodically placed her finger under her father's nose in an attempt to determine if he was still breathing.  At other times she would touch his arm or his forehead.  Her older brother also did the same.  Other family members would arrive and touch Duang's father and speak to him - pretty much saying "good bye and good luck to you".  Duang also spoke to her father in an attempt to determine if he was still alive.  She also was asking him to stay alive until her son, his oldest grandchild, had returned to the home.  Duang's son had driven off to pickup up one of his cousins to participate in the death watch.  It seems that in the ethnic Lao culture it is important to witness the death of a loved one.  Unfortunately Duang's son was not present at the time of his grandfather's death.  From Duang I learned that her son was very upset but he expressed his grief in private.

I had never been a part of a death watch before.  Just as in America where popular culture makes such a daunting and intimidating spectacle of witnessing child birth for men, I was conditioned to be apprehensive about witnessing the death of a person.  I witnessed the birth of my first son to support my wife who was far from home and family.  After seeing and reading so many stories of men passing out when women gave birth, I was concerned that rather than supporting my wife in her time of need, I would cause her concern or create problems for others.  Well witnessing the birth was nothing like what is commonly portrayed in the media.  It was fascinating.  It was interesting.  It was watching a miracle - nothing upsetting, disturbing, or cause to pass out.  I was so pleased that I took advantage to witness that event.  I looked forward to the birth of my second son.  Having experienced the first birth, I knew that there was nothing to be afraid of.  Faced with the challenge of a death watch for the first time I approached the ritual  with the same attitude of wanting to support my wife in her time of need and with the same degree of trepidation as I had regarding witnessing child birth.

Duang and her oldest brother attend to their father

When confronted with challenges, most people will perform as is necessary to support others and to do what is necessary.  Once again I realized that during the death watch.  Here in Isaan most people die at home.  There is no doctor, no Medical Examiner, or Police in attendance at the passing of a person in the home.  Family members are responsible for the process.  After about an hour, it became apparent to me that Duang and others were having difficulty determining if her father had died.  I asked if any one had a compact - a small mirror that we could place under his nose to see if it would fog up from his breathing.  After explaining

exactly what I was talking about, I realized that no one had one.  I checked his pulse on his wrist and on his neck but could not find one.  I was not certain that I had done it correctly.  I then realized that I had in my hands something that could determine if he was still alive - my camera's speedlight (flash).  I asked Duang to open her father's eye and I fired the flash at his face.  She did not see his eye react to the light.  We repeated the test and there was still no reaction.  I then opened one eye, stared deeply into it and fired the flash a third time.  His pale grey eye did not react at all.  The pupil did not change size at all and I felt like I was staring into nothingness.  I released the eyelid and told Duang that he was dead.

The death watch was over. After the pronouncing his death, three fusillades of fire crackers were set off to scare away and drive off any bad spirits in the area.  The Village headman was summoned to the home to record the passing and to document the death.

The death watch was over.  It had been dignified.  It had not been revolting or disgusting. It was nothing to be in fear of once it had been experienced.  The desire to support loved ones had gotten me through experiencing it for the first time.

The tension in the atmosphere immediately disappeared. People who seemed somewhat paralyzed by the watch process and its uncertainties now sprung into action.  Several woman gathered his clothing and personal belongings.  After selecting his clothing for his cremation, the remaining clothing was placed into two cardboard boxes and each box secured with string.  These items will be burned in an open fire when he is cremated on Friday.

Aunts prepare Sai Sein

Some of the older aunts sat down with cotton string similar to butcher's string, "Sai Sein".  This string is fundamental to religious rituals here in Isaan.  Pieces are tied on the wrists of people in Bai Sii Kwan rituals, rituals to ensure that the 32 internal spirits necessary health, wealth and good luck are bond to a person's body.  Baii Sii Kwan ceremonies are performed at many events including weddings, illnesses, New Year celebrations, retirement parties, prior to a big journey, and to honor dignitaries and guests.  Vehicles and motorbikes have hunks of sai sein wrapped and tied around their steering columns for protection.  A thick and long rope like sai sein connects the coffin to the procession of Monks leading the funeral cortege from the home to the local Wat for cremation.  During the funeral ritual at the Wat, a thin sai sein connects the coffin, and by proximity the deceased person's spirit, to the Monks in the nearby Bot.

The aunts were preparing pieces of sai sein to be used in preparing the body to be placed in the coffin. They paid particular attention to ensuring that each piece of the sai seins had a predetermined number of strands.

After washing, baby powder is placed on the body

Duang's son and to of his cousins took the lead in carrying the body into the nearby bathroom for washing.  There was a crush of people, both male and female, into the bathroom.  The clothing was removed from the body and the body carefully placed on the floor of the shower with the young men holding the torso upright.  People pressed to get into the room for the opportunity to have dish washing detergent poured on their hand to then wash the body.  The detachable shower head was used to rinse the body.  The young men then moved the body into the adjacent kitchen area where it was dried.  Prior to dressing the body in the selected clothing for cremation, people placed baby powder on the body - just as people do to babies and children every day.

After the body was dressed it was placed on a saht and thick blanket on the tiled floor.  Three face clothes were placed over the face of the body.  After a while someone came with a section of undyed muslin cloth - a sort or shroud.  The body was lifted up and the cloth was placed underneath it with a great deal of conversation and discussion as well as two adjustments to get it placed correctly.  There was a great deal of conversation in the room as if the people's grief was being transformed into verbal communication.  It seemed to give the people a positive focus and to keep their minds active rather than lapsing into morbidity.  There was a great deal to be done and the people were fully engaged in getting it done.

The shroud and all the shrouds that I have seen here did not completely cover the body.  The cloth was about one meter (one yard) wide and when the sides were pulled towards each other did not completely cover the entire body.  The arms and hands were re-positioned so that the hands were in the "wai" (praying) position. In addition to the paper currency that was in Duang's father's hands, some green leaves were added and held in place with a piece of sai sein.  Other sai sein were used to bind the feet, the legs and to bind the shroud to the body.  I believe the leaves are an offering that is a reminder of the temporary nature of all things and in particular - this life.

Securing the shroud and binding the hands

Duang and her son went off into Kumphawapi to commence making arrangements for the upcoming four days - four days of ritual, and feeding guests concluding on Friday with the cremation.  Their first task was to purchase a consumable coffin, arrange for the delivery and rental of a refrigerated coffin, and commence buying food, soft drinks, and liquor for all the guests who would be arriving over the four days.

After the shroud was secured, the body was completely covered with heavy blankets.  Particular attention was made to ensure that the body was completely covered.  I kept a vigil over the body with the other men.  The women divided themselves into two groups.  One group occupied themselves cleaning the house and outside area.  The other group occupied themselves slicing, dicing and chopping vegetables in preparation for cooking.  A large plastic tub was filled with water and about 50 pounds of sticky rice was poured into it to soak prior to steaming later in the day.

Everyone was busy.  They all seemed to know what to do.

When Duang returned with the consumable coffin, one of the aunts sprinkled the plastic liner with baby powder.  The body was then placed inside of the coffin by the men - again with a great deal of animation and conversation.

Since Duang arrived from her side trip to the market, there were huge bags of vegetables, mushrooms, and other food items to be washed and prepared.  Magically the man who goes around selling charcoal stoves (five gallon sized refractory lined containers) had arrived earlier and the family had purchased five of them to cook the meals for the upcoming days.  These stoves were quickly filled with wood along with charcoal and fired up.

Later the man with the refrigerated coffin arrived, a problem was discovered.  The refrigerated coffin would not fit through the doors of the house.  Where there is a will there is a way but it does help to have a hammer.  Several men took turns with a claw hammer to beat out one side of the door and some of the thin cinder block wall that it was attached to.  In time the access was created and the ensuing mess cleaned up.

The refrigerated coffin was wheeled into the room where the body was located in the consumable coffin.  After a couple shots of lavender room freshener spray into the refrigerated coffin. the consumable coffin was placed inside with the body going in feet first.  The man from the rental company then set up a stand to display a photograph of Duang's father and brought in several tribute items - cardboard artificial flower displays with clocks and freshly printed personal messages from donors.  After the cremation the clocks are offered to the Monks.  I asked Duang what the Monks did with all the clocks that they get.  She said that they sometimes give them to other Monks who don't have a clock.  I noticed all three of the clocks read 10:20 when the actual time was 2:30.  I told Duang to tell the man they we should get a discount because the clocks did not work.  She told the man and every one had a good laugh.  Laughing?  Laughing when someone had just died?  Yes that is the way it is here and in this culture.  Actually the laughing had started earlier in the morning and at my expense.  Duang's father had just died.  One of his sisters said to everyone that her dead brother looked like me.  They all laughed like crazy.  I touched her skin which is very thin and wrinkled as I then touched her brother's arm.  I had Duang translate "I look like a dead man?  Look your skin is much worse than his skin"  Everyone, including her. enjoyed another good laugh.

Death here is familiar.  It is a recognized part of life.  Death is experienced in the open and not hidden from view or restricted.  One of the great grandchildren, a three year old girl, witnessed the entire process.  She was not afraid and seemed curious as to what was going on.  I was concerned about our grandson, Peelawat, who lives with Duang's parents and his mother.  He was at school for the day and was returning at 4:00 P.M..  I had talked to Duang about ensuring that he understood what had happened, what was going on, and what would happen.  I did not want him to be afraid let alone traumatized by events.


Duang and I had discussed the situation of her father's death long ago.  When her father died I knew that she would have many duties and responsibilities which would require her to stay in the village.  We agreed that she would stay in her parent's home while I would stay at our home.  Too many people drinking and making too much noise get to me along with the more primitive comforts of the family home.  I told Duang that I would do what she needed me to do to support and help her.  Actually my absence actually makes things easier for her - she does not have to worry about me, feel obligated to take care of me, or take time away from family and friends to explain things to me.  She asked me to stay until Peelawat came home from school.  Later the plan evolved into me staying until he came home from school, Duang, Peelawat, and I would then go to our home to get clothes and essentials for Duang to stay at the village, I would eat foreign food, and we all would return for 6:00 P.M. when the Monks would arrive to perform the first night ritual.

Peelawat arrived home and seemed somewhat surprised or bewildered by all that was going on.  He came into the large room and stared at the refrigerated coffin, the floral arrangements, the tributes suspended from the exposed ceiling beams, the large stick of incense burning, the large lit candle, and the flashing Christmas type lights on top of the coffin and around his great grandfather's photo. Duang calmly explained to him what had happened.  He went to his room and quickly returned wearing his regular clothes rather than his school uniform.  He went to Duang and he paid his respects to his great grandfather.

Great Grandson, Peelawat, lights incense to offer to the spirit of his Great Grandfather

Afterwards on our way back to our home with Peelawat, I asked Duang about if Peelawat understood what had happened and what was going on.  She said that Peelawat was fine and was not afraid.  She had explained to him and he told her that he understood and had known other people who had died before.

Peelawat, almost 5 years old, makes an offering and pays respect

We returned to Tahsang Village in time to participate in the ritual with seven Monks - Duang's uncle who is an Abbott and highly revered Monk in the area, Monks from "Inside" Wat and "Outside" Wat.  The ritual seemed to be a typical merit making ritual that I have witnessed countless times here in Thailand.

Duang's uncle, an Abbott, pours water over the food that she will offer as nourishment to her father's spirit

As part of the ritual a tray of food was offered by Duang to nourish her father's spirit.  After chanting by both laypeople and the Monks, her uncle a very senior Monk poured water over the food which Duang then placed underneath her father's photograph next to his coffin.

After the ritual I returned home after a very eventful day - one of several sure to come during the remainder of this week.

As I drove the one hour back to our home, I could not help reflecting about life and death amongst the ethnic Lao people of Isaan.  I have always been impressed with the sense of family and community that I observed at Lao Loum funerals over my time here in Isaan. After experiencing the final hour of life and preparations for a funeral, I am even more impressed and in admiration of the culture.

On a personal note, I am more familiar with death now than I was ten years ago.  Death holds much less mystic over me. We learn much from each other.  I have been taught a great deal and learned much from my wife and her culture.  I am thankful and I believe I am better prepared for the  future.