Kahn Ha Kahn Phet - A Child's Contrition

This past Sunday was quite a busy day for my wife and me out at Wat Pha That Nong Mat.  I had expected to witness and photograph the daily ritual of offering food to the Monks, a special ritual associated with casting a statue of a Naga, and the actual casting of the statue. I also had the unexpected opportunity to witness and photograph Ajahn Ott creating two Sak Yant tattoos on a young Monk. However, the biggest surprise of the day for me, and even more so my wife was a special Thai ritual called "Kahn Ha Kahn Phet"  My spelling may be off because Romanicing Thai words is very difficult and flexible not to mention comprehending Thai words with the five different tonal versions of many words with each way having a completely different meaning.  I confirmed twice with Duang that I had heard and comprehended "Kahn Ha Kahn Phet" properly.

Kahn Ha Kahn Phet is a Thai ritual for sons and daughters to apologize and atone for transgressions against their parents.  Respect for one's parents is a cornerstone of Thai society.  I have often been reminded of that by Duang but I won't get into those details!  Duang does not gossip about people and is very tolerant.  However I have many times observed her disdain for people who do not take care or respect their parents.

On our visits to hospitals, she has often rhetorically asked me the question why some elderly person was at the hospital alone to see the doctor and not accompanied by a son or daughter.  Often she has answered her question by pointing out to me that their family do "not have good heart".

Duang's daughter and her boyfriend had been visiting Thasang Village for 10 days.  She is thirty-three years old and expecting her third child.  Since she was in high school, her relationship with Duang has been as some people state "it's complicated".  She has been very busy recently with the pregnancy, relocating with her boyfriend to Rayong, and the imminent death of her father due to cancer.

After the pouring of the concrete for the Naga statue had been completed, the young Monks and young male laypeople were occupied casting small detail pieces required to complete the assembly of the statue.  Ajahn Ott and Por Tong (the Abbott from the rustic Wat near our home) were relaxing under the shade trees along with Duang, me and several of the women who had participated in the casting ritual.  After a while, Por Tong motioned to me to take some photographs and pointed to Duang who was seated upon a saht at my side.  I did not understand but who was I to question a Monk?  I turned to look at Duang and prepared to take some photographs.  I noticed that Duang's daughter approaching Duang carrying an ornate offering bowl filled with offerings.

She reverently knelt before Duang and offered up the bowl to Duang.  As Duang accepted the bowl, Pell bowed before her mother and asked for forgiveness for having lied and being disrespectful to her.

Duang was just as surprised as I was.  However, Por Tong, Duang's pahn sii kwan teacher and the other people from the rustic Wat near our home were not surprised.  This was not a spur of the moment act.  It apparently been planned and arranged by Pell.  Pell had contacted Duang's friend and teacher to help make the offerings that were presented in the bowl to Duang.

Inside of the ornate pressed metal offering bowl were 13 cones constructed from banana leaves.  The 13 cones were segregated into two groups - one group of 5 and the other group of 8.  The configuration was not by chance or without significance.  "5" signifies the "5 Precepts" of Buddhism while "13" signifies "The Noble Eightfold Path".

The "5 Precepts" of Buddhism are refraining from:

1.         harming living things  
2.         taking what is not given
3.         sexual misconduct
4.         lying or gossip
5.         taking intoxicating substances such as drugs or drink

The "Noble Eightfold Path" is considered to be the means to end suffering, pain, and unsatisfactoriness.  The path is:

1.           right view
2.           right resolve
3.           right speech
4.           right conduct
5.           right livelihood
6.           right effort
7.           right mindfulness
8.           right concentration

Each of the 13 cones contained 3 joss sticks (incense), 2 white candles, and "dogmai" - floral buds (white jasmine).

Three is also extremely important in Buddhism.  First and most, 3 represents the Triple Gem of Buddhism - Buddha, The Teachings of Buddha, and the Buddhist Religious Community (Sanga).  There are also three roots of evil - greed, hatred, and delusion. There are 3 characteristics of existence too - suffering, impermanence, and enlightenment. The Noble Eightfold Path has 3 divisions - Wisdom, Moral virtue, and Meditation.

Two represents the "2 Truths" of Buddhism - relative truth and absolute truth.

There is a great use of symbolism in the Thai culture.  It is often the stitching that binds the cultural fabric of society.

After Duang had accepted the offering and her daughter's apology, Pell washed her mother's hands as her son Peelawat watched.

The act of washing her mother's hands was a demonstration and affirmation of Pell's promise to no longer lie or yell at her mother anymore - to properly respect her.

It was a very touching and moving ritual.  It was greatly appreciated and celebrated.  If farmers are not the greatest optimists in this world, it must be mothers.

I sometimes grouse about the tendency today for many American parents to solve their children's problems.  It is extremely important for children to solve their problems on their own without adult interference.  The interpersonal skills and techniques developed in childhood solving their own problems will form the foundation for them to become success and content adults.  They need at the earliest of age to understand and accept that are empowered and obligated to resolve their own conflicts.  The tendency today to identify just about everyone as a victim and teaching them to be dependent upon others for resolution and protection is a dangerous process. 

I share my observations from overseas experiences to provide insights as to how other cultures address issues and concerns that are common to all of us.

The Kahn Ha Kahn Phet ritual, a public act of humility, is a method used in Thailand to resolve conflict between children and their parents.  Humility is a trait lacking too often in today's society.  It is a very powerful trait.  Humility is often the path to forgiveness.

Life and Beauty - This Week

Duang - One week later and with stitches removed

Yesterday we had to drive back down to Kohn Kaen for the stitches to be removed from Duang's face.  The two hour drives down and back were fairly uneventful other than the numerous motorbikes travelling the wrong way on one-way roadways; a common occurrence here in Thailand.  There were even two pickup trucks going the wrong way; not all that uncommon either.  Unlike the previous day when I almost killed a motorcyclist, there was no excitement while driving.

The previous day I had gone grocery shopping alone because Duang is still shy about appearing in public with her swollen face.  Here in Thailand we drive differently than in the USA or Canada.  We drive on the left hand side of the road.  The slow lane is the lane furthest to the left on the road.   The fast lane, the passing lane, is the furthest right hand lane of the highway.

I was in the slow lane of the two lanes of the road that go north.  A median separates these two lanes from the two south bound lanes.  The entrance to the Lotus-Tesco Shopping Center is on the left.  I put on my signal to indicate that I was going to make a left turn into the entrance and commenced to slow down to around 20 KPH (12 mph) for the turn.  I noticed a motorcycle headed towards me, going the wrong way in the gutter of my lane.  I slowed even further and determined that in making the turn I would not hit the on coming motorbike.  Just as I commenced my turn to the left. I heard a loud noise and saw a flash of color pass by on my left side in the gutter of the lane that I was in.  A motorbike flew by me on the inside of my turn.  It appeared to be going around 70 KPH (40MPH).  The motorbike driver swerved to miss me, over corrected , swerved once again and missed the oncoming motorbike.  It all happened extremely quickly but played out in slow motion in my perceptions.  I remember thinking that the motorbike driver was going to fall off the bike and kill himself if not kill the oncoming riders.  Through luck, Divine intervention, or perhaps skill, the motorbike avoided any accident and continued down the road at 70 KPH.  It was a very close call.  Unfortunately this was not the first time that I have been passed by a motorbike on the inside of a turn or been passed on the wrong side by a motorbike.

I was amazed at my reaction.  Of course I was shocked - shocked at this happening so quickly and unexpectedly as well as how stupid the motorbike operator was to have provoked the incident.  A scene from one of my all time favorite movies came to my mind, "Lawrence of Arabia".  One of his followers, a man that Lawrence had risked his life to save earlier, kills a member of another tribe. The death must be avenged and the murder punished but that would trigger the need to avenge his death if he were killed by a member of the aggrieved tribe. To avoid a tribal feud and the disintegration of his fighting force, Lawrence kills a man.  Later, obviously upset by the incident, he reports back to his commanders.  They are extremely sympathetic and try to allay his emotions with statements about how difficult war can be, and how sometimes you must do bad things in order to achieve good.  Lawrence then shocks them by informing them that they did not understand and that he was upset because he enjoyed killing the man.  No, I did not enjoy almost killing that young man but what surprised and shocked me was that I did not care that I almost killed him.

They say that life is cheaper here in Asia.  My experience is that such a perception is true.  I once commented to another foreigner that you could hire someone to kill another person for around 5,000 baht ($150).  My Thai friend added that sometimes it is done for free out of friendship.

If a Thai were to kill another Thai in an accident, he or she would be expected to compensate the deceased person's family between $3,000 to $6,000 USD.  Blood money of $3,000 to $6,000 for a vast majority of Thais, most specifically people in Isaan, is a great financial burden.  However, for me, the issue or rather surprise is that the value of a human life has been quantified, monetized, and accepted before the fact.  In the US the value is undetermined and subject to litigation on a case by case basis.  For me it seems peculiar that the value of a life is subject to the skills and effectiveness of a lawyer and sympathies of a jury.  To discuss and attempt to seek a universal value for a life before a death is a taboo for many people.

In the Muslim countries where I have lived, there was a similar attitude towards life in that whatever happened was deemed to be "God's will".  This attitude seemed to, for many people, absolve or excuse people from acting responsibly or acting prudently in terms of personal safety.

I do not make any moral judgements in this regard.  I write to inform readers how things are elsewhere.  I write to point out how things are different from place to place.

I write of this incident not to share a personal story with my readers but to share experiences and observations of life in other countries and societies.  Because I or Duang have experienced or observed things personally, I am able to write about them and to share them.  It is not about me, or us, the story is about life.

Now, back to Duang's face lift.  We went to the hospital to have the stitches removed.  Just like in America we had to wait for the doctor.  Duang's appointment was for 12:00 Noon but the doctor was not available for her until 1:30 PM.  No problem, waiting here in Isaan is very entertaining and informative.  We waited in an area that contained small offices, small rooms for medical procedures, as well as an open triage area.

It was a busy day with all the seats inside the area filled as well as some seats outside of the area filled with patients and their supporters.  It seemed that each patient had a story to tell or if they could not their support people were all too willing to tell the story.  There was a young man who was going to have a hernia repaired.  His blood pressure was 154/90 so I expect he was suffering some anxiety over his upcoming surgery.  There was a middle aged woman who was having follow up work done on her fingers and thumb.  She had sewed them together in an accident. Apparently they had become infected and the surgeon had amputated some of them.  According to Duang, the bone was good but the meat was bad.  It did seem like some of them were shorter too.  There was a middle aged woman having a procedure done on her nose - implanting a silicone shape to give her nose a more Western appearance.  There was another middle aged woman who was going to have a hernia repaired.

In addition to learning why each patient was there, we also found out how much their surgeries were costing.  The young man's umbilical hernia repair was 50,000 Baht ($1,666 USD).  In contrast my similar operation in California about 6 years ago was $15,000 USD.  The woman's hernia operation was 55,000 Baht.

After a while a tall, slender, extremely attractive person in a very nice skirt and blouse walked into the office and sat next to Duang.  TIT, This Is Thailand, I knew what she was and why she was there.  I am not sure if it was a sixth sense, her protruding Adam's apple, or her low voice that lead me to believe that she was a "Kathoey' (Lady boy).  In no time at all Duang had learned that yes she was a lady boy and she was going to have breast implants done that afternoon for 65,000 Baht ($2,166).  The presence of the lady boy and the two others that arrived later was all just a matter of fact situation.  Everyone knew and no one minded.  Thailand is recognized as a tolerant culture.  The saying of "UP2U" is popular for good reason.

Turn around is fair play even in Thailand.  While Duang was getting all the personal information from the other patients, she was telling them about her face work and showing the work to them.  She then had to explain to them why she was not going to have her nose and breasts worked on.  I understand enough know to have an idea what is being said so I explained that I did not want those changed and liked everything the way that they were - much to their amusement.  I have grown accustomed to the openness of Lao Loum culture and lack of privacy - accustomed but not accepting as of yet.  Of course I smile and chuckle every time that I compare Thai procedures with American procedures.  I remember getting pages of documents outlining the eye doctor's "Privacy Policy". the Pharmacy's "Privacy Policy", the hospital's "Privacy Policy" knowing full well that there is none, and that if I want treatment I have to accept their policy.  In reality the only privacy policy that I am interested in is how are they going to ensure that I do not show my butt or anything else to other people while in the hospital.  However, I imagine that if I were sick enough I wouldn't care.

Eventually we got moved to an area outside of the procedure rooms and in the midst of the triage area.  There was and elderly woman who had fallen down the stairs laying on a gurney.  We got to observe the doctor examining her and deciding to send her to x-ray.  A younger woman was under sedation on a gurney closer to us - she was the wife of a policeman who had gone swimming three days earlier in Pattaya.  She was now experiencing "heart trouble" and tingling in her arms.

Duang was called into the room and had me accompany her.  Once again the room and equipment were not what I been accustomed to seeing in a US hospital or even a doctor's office.  The equipment was dated and the room appeared that it could be cleaner.  The doctor examined Duang and asked her about her condition.  Everything is going very well.  He answered my concern and question.  He told me that Duang will most likely stop looking in the mirror all the time in about six weeks.  We all had a good laugh.  He then had her lay on the procedure table and removed her stitches using a sterile scalpel blade which he used without a handle and sterile tweezers.  I was able to get up and watch the procedure up close.  The stitches were a very fine blue material - it looked like they were 1/5 diameter of a human hair.  I was impressed at the ease in which he could locate them and remove them. There was no topical analgesic used - only sterile saline solution and Duang never flinched.  We will have to return in three weeks for a followup examination.

After the stitches were removed, we exited the area through the area where we were originally seated.  The lady boy had two sample silicone breast implants in her hands.  She spoke to Duang and we went over to check them out.  One was larger than the other.  He handed them to me and I got to check them out.  I told him in Thai that one was "Big-Thai" and one was "Small-Thai" but to be "Small- Foreigner" he needed two of the "Big-Thai" implants.  Everyone had a good laugh.

The cost of removing the stitches was not included in the original bill.  After paying $13, we returned home.

This experience at the hospital as well as Duang's face procedure to date once again reinforced my perception that medical care needs to be only fit for purpose.  The facilities and their condition were not what I am accustomed to or expected in the USA.  However they were effective and met our needs.

Duang's face is coming along very well and even now it is obvious that the procedure was done very well.

The Price of Beauty - At Least In Thailand

We have been back in Thailand for two weeks now; two very busy weeks.  Our time has taken up with household repairs and cleaning.  Last night we did not get home until 1:00 AM.  No - we were not in a fight or auto accident.  Duang had some work done on her face last night.

I have written a few blogs on medical care and its associated costs here in Thailand.  This blog is about the costs and procedure for Duang's blepharoplasty and rhytidoplasty - face lift and eye lifts..

Duang is approaching her 49th birthday and has been wanting to have some work done on her face for a while.  I did not think that she needed any work and I don't see anything wrong with looking your age.  However during the course of photographing Duang over 4,000 times, I was aware of certain areas around her eyes  and mouth where I  consistently made 'adjustments" when post processing her photograph.  These were also the areas that Duang wanted to be worked on. While is the United States she became interested in the television ad campaign that has saturated the airways for over a year.  I called to get more information as the ad informed.  I ended up speaking with what appeared to me to be a boiler room type operation.  The operator on the other end of the line wanted my telephone number.  Well I can be a difficult type of person especially when it comes to spending my money.  My adage when it comes to money is "I will call you.  You don't call me"  I refused to give the number and requested the additional information packet as promised on television.  About two weeks later I received a packet with basically a regurgitation of the television ad and print ads.  It was generalized as well as very lacking in specific details as to procedures, methods or costs.  The information basically pointed out that you needed to schedule an appointment with a represented doctor in the Boston or New York City area.  All in all it reminded me of the sales campaigns of the 1980s for time shares.  That was more than enough to dissuade me from pursuing the matter any further.  I told Duang to wait until we got back to Thailand and reminded her of the many foreigners who go to Thailand for plastic surgery as well as other medical procedures.

Well it turned out the Duang's brother's ("Number 4") girlfriend had a friend who had just had "face make" in Khon Kaen, 2 hours south of here.  I point out how we got the information because that is how things work around here.  As far as I know there is no telephone book or yellow page directory for Udonthani.  There is no local newspaper for the area.  We have cable television so  we do not watch local television.  As such we are not subjected to daily and nightly barrages of lawyers seeking us as clients or helpful information such as advertising by local businesses or services.  Information is passed from person to person.  Fortunately Duang has a large family as well as many friends so there is always someone or someone who knows someone that can help with needed information.

Anyhow this woman had her eyes done 5 days ago.  The doctor was the number 1 plastic surgeon in Khon Kaen and worked at two hospitals.  He had been practicing for about 15 years.  His pricing seemed very good.  However after my experience with "Doctor Feelgood" ( an earlier blog about a the man who knew how to give injections out in the rice paddies and was injecting everyone with Valium), I wanted to check this doctor out before any commitment was made. Interestingly, I have yet to be informed of any doctor or business that was considered to be #2 or even #3.  I know that they have to exist but I have no idea who they are. Arrangements were made for Duang to visit with the doctor for last night.  As most things are here in Isaan, this was not a simple task.  It ended up that Number 4's girlfriend would drive us down to the doctor along with her friend who was having the stitches removed from around her eyes.

We ended up being 5 women and myself in Thailand's equivalent of a Toyota Corolla.  Four women were in the back, one woman sitting on another woman's lap.  Duang's former sister-in-law came along to see about having additional work done on her nose - Michael Jackson Syndrome?  many woman in Isaan have silicone inserts placed in their noses to make their appearance to be more "Western"  In may cases this does not work out well.  Another female friend came along I guess to provide morale support - that is how things are done here in Isaan.  If you are going somewhere there are always plenty of people ready and available to tag along.  I survived the two hour drive with 5 Lao Loum women all speaking at the same time just about all the time.  Actually I rather enjoy the sense of family and community these situations provide.

We ended up seeing the doctor and he informed Duang's former sister-in-law that no further work could be done or should be attempted on her nose.  I am still trying to figure out what was wrong with it to begin with other than it was not a nose belonging on a Lao Loum face.  Score one for the doctor.  I liked that he was not going to slice and dice as long as you had the cash.  We had a consultation with him and my concerns were addressed and my reservations were diminished.  Some work that Dung wanted he indicated was not necessary.  The next thing that I know that happened was that Duang and I agreed to have the work done.  I was shocked when his assistant came with two pieces of paper of which Duang was required to sign once.  After signing, he said "Let's go to the operating room"  Duang entered the operating room at 8:00 PM for a scheduled 2 hour operation.  The nurse came out at 10:00 PM and informed me that it would be another hour or longer.  Duang came out at 11:00 PM, 3 hours after the surgery commenced.

We had to pay for the entire operation that night - 35,460 Baht ($1,182 USD!) including take home medications.  The hospital took my credit card to pay for the operation.  We walked out of the hospital at 11:30PM.  We will return on Monday to have the stitches removed.

When we were in the USA, I estimated that a face lift along with eye lifts would run around $20,000.  Today, prior to writing this blog, I researched estimated prices for the work in the USA and came up with about $15,000.

I walked out of the hospital with three pieces of paper.  One was an invoice for the surgeon - 20,000 baht.  Another was an invoice for 5,000 baht for something.  The third was an itemized bill for 10,476 baht from the hospital.

For the three hour operation, we were charged $81.66 for the operating room, $2.50 for the nurses, and $172.80 for medical supplies.

It is hard to believe that two upper eye lid lifts, two lower eye lid lifts and a face lift cost $1,182.  However this is in line with what we previously paid to have Duang's eardrums repaired.  I guess this is why medical tourism is a growing trend here in Thailand.  Almost $14,000 in savings over having the procedure done in the USA more than covers the round trip flight and hotel stay.

To be honest with you readers who are in the USA, the facilities and conditions of the facilities did not measure up to what we are accustomed to and for the most part expect in the USA.  However you get what you pay for or not pay for.  As was often a determination in making decisions in my construction career, solutions need to be fit for purpose.  I suspect, no I actually know, from my parents medical experiences over the past year and one-half in the USA, that Americans, be it out of their pockets, their insurance premiums, or taxes are paying for a great deal more than is necessary or required for their medical care needs.  A great deal of American medicine today as it is practiced today is "Voodoo" medicine.  The witch doctor, chants and incantations have been replaced by high tech equipment, ostentatious facilities, as well as cost insensitive procedures.  To quote a former boss of mine "The juice is not worth the squeeze"  It may not be worth the squeeze but you are all paying for it.

I am not certain that we would not accept it any other way.

Bigger is better.  Newer is better.  More expensive is better.

They just all cost more.

A Green Card - But Nothing to do with Ecology

Duang - Happy and Proud To Have Her Green Card

Yesterday was a very exciting day.   Nine months to the day that we started the long, arduous, and relatively expensive process to obtain a "Green Card" for Duang, her card arrived in the mail.  It arrived approximately one month after she arrived in America.

Duang had dressed up for my two aunt's visit later in the morning.  As she sometimes does, she told me what she thinks is going to happen during the day.  She often does the same thing during movies and besides finding it amusing I also believe her abilities to predict up coming events in the film is attributable to her intuition and often the all too familiar plots.  Yesterday morning she told me that she thought that her "ID Card" was going to come in the mail.  Two weeks ago she received a letter indicating that her Green Card was being processed and that she should have it in 30 days.  For some reason she was convinced that the card would arrive in yesterday's mail.  Sure enough there was a letter for her with the card.  I often say that I do not stand a chance if she decides to use her "powers" against me.

Duang Ready to Open Her Special Mail

We took some photographs to record and capture the proud moment in her life.  It has been a long and involved process for her and is for all other legal immigrants to the USA.  She had been rejected three times in her efforts to obtain a Tourist Visa and each rejection of her application was taken as a personal affront to her as I am sure that it is for all other applicants.  We know of some people who have been rejected 4 times in applying for a Tourist Visa.
Now that the Mid-Term Elections are over with, I have not heard, seen, or read much from either politicians, government officials or the media regarding "Comprehensive Immigration Reform".  I am still at a loss as to what constitutes "Comprehensive Immigration Reform" but I doubt that there will be much said on the subject until the next round of national elections revs up.

Duang Trying to Figure Out What the Letter is All About

From our experience in obtaining an Immigration Visa for Duang, I do not believe that it is always necessary for an American citizen to hire an immigration attorney to assist in the preparation of the application and documentation.  I do believe that it is strongly advisable for the person preparing the applications and documents to have access to a computer, access to the Internet, and to be able to scan documents into "PDF" files.  It is also essential that the person preparing the applications and documents for submittal fully understand English and be very well organized.

Duang does not read or write English so I handled the preparation of her documents.  I have years of professional experience in preparing subcontract documents, contract documents, developing contract/subcontract claims, and defending against subcontract claims.  Even with that quasi legal experience of handling documents and preparing submittals I found the current established procedure to be challenging.  I doubt that when someone says that they are for "comprehensive immigration reform" that their intention is to propose or initiate steps to simplify, expedite, or streamline the current process.

Part of my motivation in handling the process on my own was my steadfast conviction that an American, ANY American citizen, should be able to deal directly with their government without the use of an intermediary.  Hiring an attorney to deal with your government seems more of a need in an monarchy, oligarchy, theocracy, or any other form of government other than "a government of the people and for the people".  I admit that I am still idealistic and most likely naive but I want to still believe that our government is that.  Hiring attorneys, lobbyists, or some sort of professional intermediaries to represent me to and before my government takes a great deal away from the ideals set forth in the aforementioned statement.

What It Has Been All About - Duang and Her Green Card

I also believe that "comprehensive immigration reform" does not include any attempt to modify the current process to ensure that the services of attorneys or immigration assistance companies are not necessary or justified in the future.

What I believe "Comprehensive Immigration Reform" really is a touchstone phrase that admits the existence of the 800 pound gorilla, or is it elephant in the room, without recognizing either the willingness or responsibility to do anything about it.

The gorilla or elephant in the room is the existence of thousands of illegal immigrants in this country - people who have disrespected and violated our laws.  Due to politics and political correctness this issue does not get resolved.

The illegal immigrants in general are not Thais or other SE Asians for if they were it would not be such a problem because their supporters do not have political clout.  There in lies the problem, the people who can do something about the problem are reluctant out of fear of the political consequences of addressing the issue.  When I write that they are in fear of the political consequences I mean the consequences of granting amnesty as much as fully and actively enforcing the existing laws.  Fear has paralyzed our federal government preventing them from resolving a major issue that has economic, social, and national security impacts on the nation.  At least in regards to this issue the United States of America is not home of the brave.

As for Duang, we are happy and grateful that we were able to obtain an Immigration Visa legally and in accordance with all the existing regulations.  The time required, the effort required, and the expense required to get my wife to America is well worth it. 

Frozen In Time



Duang Hibernating On Cold Afternoon In New England

We have been in America for two weeks establishing our home in my boyhood town of Groton, Connecticut.

My wife is getting accustomed to American culture and Connecticut weather.  Everything is so new as well as different for her.  It is also very new as well as different for me.

I essentially left my home town in 1967 when I went off to college.  In 1975, I left New England for 35 years.  Although I had made some visits during those years the visits were never longer than 5 to 7 days until last May when I came alone for a month to care for my parents.  We are now becoming residents once again.

Duang is adapting and adjusting to New England climate - 15F (-11C) low temperatures, ice on the roads and sidewalks, snow on the ground, and cool temperatures in the house.  She often wears an outdoor coat, scarf, and sometimes even a knitted hat inside of the house.  She has even taken an afternoon nap wearing outdoor clothing underneath a sheet, a blanket, and two bedspreads on top of the bed.  I had tried to explain to her what -5C, or -11C was like but it was difficult for her to comprehend since she considers 68F (20C) to be "cold".  I believe that the coldest weather that she has experienced was around 55F (13C) in Vietnam.  I told her about "nam kiang" ice cubes on the ground, and in the rivers but I am not certain that the concept of temperatures below freezing was familiar to her.  No matter the case she is aware of it now.

The strange thing for me is that places and things have also been frozen in time so to speak.  Last week two of my Aunts visited.  One of my Aunts is going to be a Great-Grandmother once again - for the ninth time.   My cousins that I last saw in the late 1960's are now Grandparents.  In my mind they are still the 8, 9 and 10 year old children that I knew in the late 60's.

The same is true for my home town.  I remember places and things from the 50s and 60s.  Many of the places and things that are long gone in reality.  The former Melody Rolling Skating Rink was used by Electric Boat for so many years as office space that it has now become a roller skating rink once again.  As the French say - "The more things change the more that they stay the same".  It also may be like being lost in the wild, once you become lost you will most likely end up walking in a big circle to whence you came.  I do not believe that the "King" and Queen" of the Melody Rolling Skate Rink have returned to the venue.  I last heard that April is now in Australia and who knows where Bruce with his DA (Duck's Ass) haircut may have ended up - hopefully wherever he is, he has a different hairstyle!

I drove Duang down to Eastern Point Beach where so many of my summer days were spent swimming and playing basketball. During the summer of 1967, I spent all but one day at the beach - even playing basketball or swimming in the rain.  The beach has changed - the Kiddy Pool, a small beach on the Thames River is now walled off.  The grassy area where the "In Crowd" congregated seems so much smaller now and so much less important than it was in the early 1960s.  the beach that was free to "walk-ins" now charges admission.  Parking for non-residents is $10.  The offshore rafts which served as a right of passage are no longer there - removed upon the advice of a city

Pfizers large pharmaceutical plant down the road from my parent's home is long gone.  All the large buildings that produced antibiotics, medicines and other chemicals are been demolished and replaced by campus style research buildings.  The manufacturing jobs have been outsourced to far away places like Ireland, India, Puerto Rico, and probably China.  Last week it was announced that 1,100 of the highly paid white collar positions at the research labs were being eliminated - once again outsourced to low cost centers such as China and India.  In the global economy, very few jobs are really secure - there is always someone willing to do your work just as well for a lot less money somewhere else.  For companies and stockholders focused solely on profits, those are the places selected to do the work.

Yesterday, Duang and I went to see the film, "Doctor Zhivago", at a local theater.  I had seen it several times before since it was first released in 1965.  Duang who was 2 years old at the time has never seen the movie.  In 2006 on a date, I brought her to only the third movie that she had ever seen.  Life is different back in Isaan.  Her life experiences are so much different than mine.  I am pleased to finally be able to show her some of the places and things that have shaped a large part of my life as well as introduce her to some of the people who have affected my life.

Duang loved the movie and it was fun to watch her viewing the film.  I enjoyed the film also and saw it in a different light.  On previous occaissons I viewed it as a history lesson, an instructional in cinematography and directing, a story of class struggle, as well as a portent of what was to come if the Soviet Union prevailed in the Cold War.  All perspectives influenced by current events and personal experiences of the given times.

Yesterday I viewed it from the life experience of a man who also had left his wife to be with a younger woman who he thoroughly loved despite social conventions.  For the first time, I could emphathize and appreciate the heart as well as the soul of the film.  I could value the passion that the film so realisticly portrays.  It is passion and the value placed upon passion by other cultures that has richly enhanced my life and brought me great happiness.  Becoming unabashed regarding recognizing and accepting emotions can be liberating.  I consider myself to have reached this point with the help and encouragement of my  friends.

On an aside, after experiencing two winters in Northern Alberta, the winter scenes of the film had lost much of their impact upon me.  Once when travelling through the barren ice ladden country between Edmonton and Fort McMurray in December on a bus in -40 weather I thought of "Doctor Zhivago".  After seeing the film yesterday, I realize that my Northern Canada experience was more beautiful and memorable.

Upon returning home last night from our first date here in America, my parents asked if I saw anyone that I knew.  I said I most likely did but I did not recognize anyone.  It has been 43 years since graduating from high school and I am beginning to realize that although people are frozen in time, in reality they have moved along in the years, growing older, and changing their appearance just as I have.

By chance the movie "Mystic Pizza" was on television the other night.  I used to go there often with my friends Nicky and Nick - long before it was Mystic Pizza and famous; back when it was smaller and called "Ted's".  We had a good childhood back in those days; days when the shipyard was working to capacity to build submarines, and we used to say that we didn't need to take vitamins because the odors from Pfizer kept us healthy.  Some landmarks remain from the old days, one of them being "Angie's Pizza" on the Mystic - Stonington border on Highway 1 - gonna have to try it out once again.

As time moves on here in Groton, I am confident that memories will become updated and new memories will be created. Until then people, places and things will remain for me remain frozen - frozen in time.

The Times They Are Changing, Allen's World Too



Duang With A Pakama Wrapped Around Her Head

 A great motivation for pursuing an Immigration Visa for my wife was to be prepared for the time when I would have to return to America to care for my parents.  That time has arrived.

In one week Duang and I will be in America, staying in Connecticut, caring for my parents.

Life does not always, or perhaps it never plays out the way we planned or would have hoped.  However changes present opportunities as well as challenges.  It really is all up to us and how well we allow ourselves to adapt, recognize the opportunities, take advantage of the opportunities, and overcome the challenges.

I had looked into visiting Malaysia to visit Batu Caves during Thaipusam.  Thaipusam is a Tamil Hindu festival where people pierce their bodies to carry ornate structures up to the cave as demonstrations of their faith.  Over a million people attend the event.  It has a tremendous photography potential as well being another unique Southeast Asia experience.  Not attending this year will just have to be greater motivation and justification to attend a future celebration.

We had planned on returning to Maehongson to attend the Poi Sang Long Festival where young Shan boys are ordained as Novice Monks.  It is a very colorful and inspiring event - an event that we will attend once again in the future.

My blogs have largely dealt with my experiences in living here in Isaan as well as our travels and experiences in Southeast Asia.  Now with my return and Duang's immigration to America, I suspect that the focus of this blog will change.  Although I will continue to write blogs and share some of the photographs of far away places, many of the blogs will be related to Duang's experiences in adapting to America and American culture.  I also expect that some of the blogs will also deal with my observations and experiences re-adapting to life in America.

I have lived outside of America for all but 2-1/2 years of the past 11 years.  When I did live in America it was in California - a long way physically and culturally from New England.  It should be interesting for sure.

Love During My Time of Cholera

The news out of Haiti in regards to the current cholera outbreak continues to be a concern.  People continue to contract the disease, suffer, and for some; die.  The outbreak appears to be spreading and given the living as well as sanitary conditions in Haiti its spread is no surprise.

As a child I remember reading stories of people suffering and dying from cholera in WWII prison camps or in Southeast Asia jungles.  From school history books, I learned of historical cholera outbreaks in America as well as in Europe due to the lack of proper sanitation facilities and procedures.

Cholera to me was an old historical disease of far away places that as a person living in Connecticut I had no reason to fear.  Cholera was a disease of the old and primitive world.  Cholera, in the modern world, was a disease found only in exotic lands such as Bangladesh - so I thought.

In September 2007, I started working on a project in northern Vietnam.  I was assigned to a project in the Halong Bay area not far from the port city of Haiphong and about 3 hours north of Hanoi.  Once again the exotic and distant lands that I learned of during my youth from books, newspapers, television, and movies had become part of my life experience.  Just as I had visited the "lost" Inca city of Machu Picchu, rode upon the waters of Lake Titicaca, climbed the ruins of Angkor Wat, and enjoyed the natural wonders of America as well as Canada, I was enjoying the opportunities of a far away land.

I arrived in Vietnam in early September, and after settling into a rented villa I returned to Thailand in Mid-October for a weekend in order to bring Duang back to Vietnam.

Later in the year I attended a special dinner hosted by our Chinese client in their facilities at the job site.  The "Team Building" dinner was held on a Friday night and besides copious amounts of vodka and beer, there were many seafood dishes.  Some of the seafood was raw and we ate it without hesitation or concern.  After an uneventful weekend, I returned to work on Monday morning.  During the morning, I started to not feel very well.  After lunch, I was very sick.  Getting sick at work is never a pleasant experience.  Getting sick at this particular job site was extremely unpleasant.  Toilet paper was not stocked in the stalls; what you had to use was what you brought with you.  Worst of all, there were only squat toilets.  Western flush toilets did not exist at the job site.

Inside of each stall was a 8 inch high tiled raised platform.  A toilet bowl was built into the raised platform with the top of the bowl flush with the surface of the platform.  The contents in the recessed bowl were removed by opening a valve to let a stream of water flush the contents down the drain pipe at the bottom of the bowl.  I have used squat toilets but I am still fearful of two things when using them; dropping my wallet into the toilet, and soiling my clothes.  I address my fear of dropping my wallet into the toilet by removing my wallet from my back pocket and relocating it deep into a side pocket of my trousers.  As for my fear of soiling my clothing - I am working on convincing myself that the geometry as well as anatomy prevent such a disaster from happening.  However I am not a true believer - yet.  As an added precaution; after I get in the proper location, assume the squat position, I use my right hand to grab and pull my trousers as well as underwear forward out of any perceived danger zone.  To date I have always been successful so I doubt that I will change my practice.

Being sick at both ends is always unpleasant but in Vietnam using a squat toilet it was even greater challenge and even more unpleasant.  I did not manage to make it to quitting time.  I had the company driver take me back home.

Duang immediately wanted me to go to a doctor or to a hospital.  I had severe vomiting and diarrhea.  I was unable to anything down or in me.  I had had amoebic dysentery before when I lived in Algeria so I realized that I did not have dysentery.  I did not have a temperature so I suspected that I did not have food poisoning.  I suspected that I had a 24 hour virus that would pass without intervention.

I tried without any success to keep myself hydrated the remainder of the day.  I made a home made batch of rehydration fluid - boiled water, sugar, and salt, but like everything else my body quickly eliminated it.  At bedtime, Duang attempted once again to convince me to immediately see a doctor or to go to the hospital.  I was still convinced that I had a 24 hour virus albeit unlike any virus that I had experienced before.  My diarrhea had evolved to cloudy watery discharge with a slight fish odor.  Most alarming was that each discharge was about one quart in volume.  I finally relented and promised Duang at 10:00 P.M. that if I were not better the next morning I would go and see a doctor.  As I promised her I could see that she was very concerned and had two streams of tears silently running down her cheeks.

At 1:00 A.M. , I experienced my worst attack.  I sat on the western style toilet with a plastic bucket in my lap.  It was truly disgusting.  After awhile Duang entered the bathroom.  I told her to stay out.  I did not to be in the bathroom with myself let alone subject her to the situation.  She refused.  In the manner in which she refused to leave, I knew that further argument with her would be futile.  She stood by me wiping my forehead and neck with a cool damp washcloth while I suffered the ravishes of my ailment.

We spent a long and fitful night together, mostly spent in the bathroom.  At morning's first light, I called the Site Manager and informed him that I would not be into work that day.  Around 8:00 A.M. I called a Vietnamese friend and asked him to take me to a doctor or to the hospital.  I then checked the Internet for email messages.  As luck or good fortune would have it, there was a "Warden's Message" from the US Embassy in Hanoi.  The "Warden's Message" informed Americans living in Vietnam that the Vietnamese government had announced a breakout of severe diarrhea in northern provinces and that some of the cases had been diagnosed as Cholera.  That definitely piqued my curiosity.  I googled "Cholera" and researched the disease.

Cholera is a bacterial infection transmitted by fecal matter in water.  The most common means of becoming infected other than drinking contaminated water is to consume raw or improperly cooked shellfish. Yes, I had done that.  The incubation period for Cholera is 1 to 3 days after exposure.  Yes, I had eaten raw shellfish 2.5 days before the start of my illness.  Not everyone gets Cholera from an exposure.  The articles stated that several people could eat the same food and not all of them would be stricken with the disease.  Susceptibility to the disease was ties to acidity levels in the stomach, blood type, immune system vitality, and to a certain extent luck. Some people who live an areas where the bacterium Vibrio cholerae is widespread develop a certain resistance to the disease.  This appeared to also be my circumstance.  After exposure, some people will only develop a case of diarrhea while others come down with a very serious case of the disease.  A symptom of cholera is vomiting.  Yes I had that for sure and it was a reason why I knew that I did not have amoebic dysentery. The diarrhea associated with cholera is sometimes referred to as "rice water".  Yes, once again that applied to my condition.

One half an hour later, my friend returned to our home with a heavy set middle aged woman on the back of his motorbike.  He had gone to the hospital and brought back a doctor.  She had a small leather "Doctor's Bag" with her.  She was wearing a simple white head covering - the type that you used to see being worn by Russian or North Vietnamese Doctors or butchers in newsreels, documentaries, and films during the 1950s and 1960s.

The doctor examined me in our bedroom with my friend translating and Duang witnessing.  After checking my vital signs, she rubbed my temples with a medicinal oil and then rubbed some of the same oil on my abdomen.  Since I knew that she was either a Buddhist or an atheist, I did not panic in mistaking her oil treatment to be part of the Catholic Church sacrament of Extreme Unction also known as "Last Rights".  I was feeling bad; very bad but I didn't feel last rights were warranted at that time.  She then cut some white patches of paper and placed them on my temples.  I had seen that before - it is the method of giving people medicine for headaches.  The doctor gave me an injection to help stop my vomiting.  I told her that I thought that I had Cholera and as luck would have it, I had another episode while she was examining me.  She asked that I not flush the toilet until after she inspected the contents.  She confirmed that I did have Cholera.  She told me to return to bed and she would return at 1:00 P.M. and check on me.

As the hours went on, I could not keep anything in me.  Although I was no longer vomiting, my diarrhea was unabated.  I also realized that I was becoming dehydrated.  When I pinched the skin at the top of my hand it very slowly returned to shape - a sign of dehydration.  I was also becoming quite light headed - another sign of dehydration.  More importantly, I realized that I was developing a rapid pulse.  Light head and rapid pulse are also symptoms of electrolyte imbalance due to the flushing of essential mineral from the body by the profuse diarrhea.

As promised the doctor returned at 1:00 P.M. .  On this visit she brought some IV bags to infuse me.  After taking my vital signs she announced that I would not be going to the hospital.  She said that I previously had a lower than normal body temperature.  If my temperature had not returned to normal by the afternoon, she was going to admit me to the hospital.  Lower than normal body temperature can be a symptom of Sepsis (massive infection).  With that concern removed, she focused on treating the Cholera.

There is no cure for Cholera.  There is a treatment for Cholera which is to keep the patient rehydrated while the infection runs its course in 24 to 48 hours.  Since I was initially unable to keep myself hydrated orally and by the afternoon I could not physically drink enough to keep up with the fluid loss from diarrhea let alone make up for the deficit that I was experiencing, I needed to be infused with fluids and electrolytes.  The coat rack from our bedroom was brought to the side of the bed and used to hold the IV bag.  The doctor hooked me up to the IV equipment and watched over me.  When the second bag of IV fluid was completed, she left - around 6:00 P.M.  Talk about personalized medical care!  The entire afternoon, Duang remained at my bedside.  She wiped my brow and held my hand - the hand not associated with the IV.  A patient could not have hoped for a better nurse.

I spent the next day regaining my strength and was good as new the following day.

The medical statistics are that fewer than 1% of the people who get prompt, and adequate fluid replacement die.  However more than 50% of the untreated people with severe Cholera die.  Antibiotics are sometimes used to expedite the treatment but antibiotics are not required to prevent death.  Fluid replacement is essential to prevent death.  In severe cases of Cholera the patient needs to be infused with fluids to maintain blood pressure and electrolytes while the infection runs its course.

From my personal experience with Cholera, I have a greater appreciation of how people who are in prison camps or do not have access to medical care can die from this disease.  I believe that if I had not gotten treatment when I did, I would have died within 24 hours.  The insidious nature of Cholera is in how rapidly it can become fatal.  The symptoms are no more severe than a normal virus infection or case of food poisoning but it is rapidity that the infection dehydrates the body that is the major risk. To ignore it or to deny treatment for a short time is really a matter of life or death.

In the case of Haiti there also a problem of containing the outbreak.  Cholera is not passed directly from person to person.  It spreads through contamination of water and food consumed by others or I would imagine direct ingestion of infected fecal matter. In my case in Vietnam, I had access to adequate sanitary facilities.  We had plenty of clean water and soap for washing our hands and disposing of waste.  Duang and others in my presence were only at risk of infection by me if my fecal matter some how entered their digestive system - extremely improbable.  However living in a tent city or refugee camp in Haiti neither provides an adequate means for disposing of waste matter, preparing foods in a sanitary manner, or ensuring clean water for drinking.  There is no wonder that the outbreak continues and that it is spreading.

My experience demonstrated to me that you do not have to have multi-million dollar facilities to treat most diseases.  I was treated in my own home.  The victims in Haiti have neither which stacks the odds further against them.

My experience with Cholera demonstrated to me that promptly seeking medical attention can be a life or death decision.  I had waited perhaps too long but adequate medical care was readily available.  The people in Haiti do not have adequate medical personnel or sufficient supplies readily available.  Any delay on their part can have dire consequences.

It was this experience that I realized or perhaps it was that I accepted that Duang was truly committed to our relationship - for better or worse.

I had experienced her love during my time of Cholera.

Isaan Rice Planting

Last weekend's big plans were set aside by the weather. There was too much water for planting rice or fishing. All was not lost however, our five month old grandson paid a visit on Sunday.

Yesterday the weekend's planned rice planting took place. Rice was being planted in plots just outside of Tahsang Village by family members hired by Duang's daughter. Ten people walked from Tahsang Village out to the fields and awaited our arrival.

They were not being either polite or considerate. They were waiting for us because we were bringing their breakfast out to them in the pickup truck. Apparently when you hire field workers, you also have to feed them, provide them with drink, as well as pay them wages. We arrived around 08:00 A. M. much to Duang's daughter's relief.

Old sahts (woven reed mats) were placed on the relatively dry level ground on the other side of the dirt road that bisected the fields of sugar cane, rice paddies, and grazing grounds for cattle as well as water buffalo. The breakfast area for the workers was also shared with some tethered water buffalo and some free ranch cattle.

After a substantial breakfast of Kao Lao (Lao food) that could very well have been served for lunch or dinner, some of the workers washed down the last of their food with some Lao Kao (white whiskey - a sort of Lao moonshine). Other workers drank water from a common metal cup out of a insulated bucket of cool water. People in Isaan do not follow any type of set menu or types of foods reserved for specific times of the day. Rice is eaten at all meals and often in between. Fish and meat dishes are served at the first meal of the day just as they are at other meals of the day.

Everyone wandered across the road and finished putting on their work clothes for the day's activities. There is no set dress code for working in the fields. Although they will be working in water as well as mud for the day, workers are just as likely to wear pants or skirts as to wear shorts. There does seem to be one common article of clothing. Most Isaan farm workers wear brightly colored soccer style jerseys. Often the jerseys bear advertising for companies and corporations. This is much like my past when some of my wardrobe was provided as project safety awards or project team building windbreakers and jackets.

Heads are covered in a variety of gear ranging from pakamas, straw hats, and cotton sun bonnets. Often the workers will also wear some type of device to cover their necks and faces from the sun and to absorb perspiration. Colorful cotton tee shirts are sometimes employed to cover the face and neck. Sometimes the workers wear specialized articles of clothing designed and constructed specifically to cover the face and neck.

Once everyone was properly dressed they set about their work. Two paddies had been previously prepared. The paddies were about 75 feet by 100 feet long surrounded by dikes of compacted clay overgrown with vegetation. The plots were completed flooded with a mixture of mud and water about 18 inches deep. Sheaves of rice sprouts had been previously distributed throughout the prepared paddies. The workers set out in a line and grabbed bundles of sprouts from the sheaves. Groups of three sprouts were set deeply by hand into the soupy mud. In little time but with a great deal of back breaking work the paddies were spotted with neat and proper rows of transplanted sprouts.

As most of the workers focused on setting out the sprouts, some of the workers broke off to perform specific specialized tasks. Duang's son-in-law owns a small tractor and earns money using it to prepare local rice paddies. He had trucked the tractor to these paddies the night before. On the back of the tractor was a rototiller type attachment that ground up the unprepared paddies. Due to the monsoon rains that we have been experiencing for the past month, the ground is saturated with water and many of the paddies have standing water in them. The tractor or sometimes using a small iron buffalo grinds up the soil, water, and vegetation to create a flat soupy mud for planting the rice. If there is not enough standing water in the prepared paddy, a small portable diesel driven pump is used to transfer water to the paddy. In areas of the impoundment where the tractor could not get completely into, a man with a hoe finished the paddy preparation.

Duang went to the area where the rice sheaves had been placed the day before. The sprouts had been harvested at a different location the day before and brought by pick up truck to the paddies. It appeared to me that there were at least three pick up truck loads of sheaves - however this is Isaan and knowing how much they load up their trucks, I suspect that they had made only one trip or maybe two. Duang used a large heavy machete type knife to cut the tops off of the rice sheaves. This was to promote growth in the transplanted sprouts. As she picked up each sheave to trim its top, she inspected the root base of the sheave. For proper transplantation of the sprouts and to ensure a good harvest, the sprouts must have about 4 inches of good hairy root structure. Any sheaves that did not have sufficient root development were cast to the side to be fed to the livestock or placed on top of the paddy dikes. As she completed trimming each sheave, Duang placed the bundle off to the side in a special area.

Duang's cousin placed the shorn sheaves on the ends of a long bamboo pole and carried the wet mud dripping bundles out to the prepared fields. He carried the sheaves much like we had observed other workers transporting harvested garlic in the Maehongson area during April. He carried the pole full of sprouts out into the prepared field and left them in a pile in the muddy water. Other workers distributed them throughout the field for transplanting.

Everyone worked diligently at their tasks with the monotony of the work interrupted by shouting out to passing relatives or friends tending to their free range cattle. One grandfather came out on a motorbike with his young grandson so that the child could watch his mother for a while. My antics in photographing the goings on was often the subject of conversation as well as amusement. I was also teased about taking too many pictures of Duang rather than of them.

The work went very smoothly and the only excitement occurred when one of the women planting rice pulled a mouse out of muddy goop. She proudly held it by its tail and displayed it so that I could photograph the event.

The people worked until all the paddies had been planted. The work was completed by 2:00 P.M. Everyone piled into the back of our pick up and we went back to Tahsang Village. After washing, the workers reunited at Duang's parent's house to eat and drink. The men ate in one room and the women ate in another room. Sahts were placed on the tile floor and the food and drink were laid out picnic style. There was plenty of food and beer. Everyone enjoyed their meal and the air was filled with animated conversation and laughing.

We returned to our home tired but satisfied with our day out in the rice paddies.