Thailand's Mothers Day - 2013

Duang and her older sister pay respects and make offerings to their aunt

Monday, 12 August, was a special day here.  It was one of only about three days without rain here in Isaan since we returned on 5 July.  The day was also a very special day no matter what the weather is or would be - it was the Queen of Thailand's birthday.  Since the Queen of Thailand is considered to be the mother of the Thai people, her birthday is celebrated as "Mothers Day" in Thailand.

Here in Thailand there is a strong sense of family and community.  There are few government programs for the social benefit of the people.  The strong social fabric of the people provides for the needs of the young, invalid, and the elderly.  Two tenants of Buddhism is to care for the young and to care for the elderly.  The first line of care providers is the family; family as in extended family.  Nieces and nephews are expected to care and provide for aunts, uncles, and cousins just as members of the immediate family are expected to.

These expectations are strong and well communicated.  During our visits to the hospital we always see teen aged grandchildren accompanying and assisting a grandparent.  On the few occasions where we have seen an elderly person struggling alone, Duang has expressed sorrow for the person and contempt for the family.  As I looked around the waiting room at the other people I strongly sensed similar emotions from the other people.

Once I read a comment related to these blogs that I write.  The reader was asking that since I write about people who they would consider to be poor, the reader was curious as to how the Thai people differeniated as to who was poor.  My reply went along the lines that the people do not use material possessions as the prime determinator of wealth.  A person with a great deal of money but is not happy, and is not loved, respected and taken care of by their family would be considered to be poor whereas a person with few material possessions but was happy, loved, respected and taken care of by their family would be considered to be well off.

Duang, Duang's daughter, Duang's oldest brother, Duang's older sister, and Duang's nephew pay respect to Duang's mother

There are four national holidays when Thai ppeople are expected to return to their family's home.  The holidays are New Years, Songkran, Mothers Day, and Fathers Day.  Children are expected and under considerable peer pressure to visit their parents to show their respect as well as to honor them.

On Mothers Day, children give offerings of fresh floral arrangements (pumahlai) and cash to their mother and favorite aunts.


Pumahlai



Duang's Aunt Accepting the Offerings

There is a specific ritual for making the offerings to mothers on Mothers Day.  A small plate is placed on the raised platform where the mother is seated or on a table in front of the seated mother.  The participants place the offerings in the plate and say things along the lines of "Thank you for everything that you have done for us, the help that you give us and for taking care of us".  After saying this, the participants supplicate in front of the mother.  They then rise up and respectfully offer up the plate to the mother.  The mother raises her hands to the plate in a gesture of acceptance while thanking and telling the participants that she wishes them good luck as well as good fortune.  Part of her blessing includes a reaffirmation of the social compact to care for the very young and to take care of the elderly.

Duang's Aunt Gives Her Blessing

Caring for others is the strong foundation of the culture.  Manners and respect are taught at a very early age. When we go out, I make it a point to visit with the babies and young children that we encounter.  Unlike in the USA where such behavior would be extremely questionable and suspect, here in Isaan the parents are quite flattered.  I am always impressed that the parents, starting with children as young as 9 months old, require their children to show respect to me by performing a wai (placing the hands together in a praying position and bowing the head).

Our grandson is now 4-1/2 years old and is aware of the social compact, when he has candy, he always ensures that he shares it with me.  He also shares his soda with me.  Now we have to work on him to share with his grandmother Duang.  He always wants to go to Ta Allen's house (Grandfather Allen) to eat "kao falang"  (foreign food).  He loves macaroni & cheese, spaghetti, shredded pork for chimichangas, pizza, and new this weekend - levepastej (home made Danish liver paste).  He seems to like any food that I make unlike his uncle Perk, Duang's son, who hates all foreign food.

Duang's son and his wife came to our home in the evening.  They had offerings for Duang and brought me some fresh pineapple from the market.  I had to sit next to Duang on the couch as they paid their respects. Although I pointed out that it was Mothers Day and I was not a mother, Duang said that I was like a father. As Duang accepted their offerings, she was telling them many things in Lao.  When the ritual was completed, I asked Duang what she had told them.  She said that she was wishing them good luck and fortune.  She also reminded them that good luck and fortune would allow them to take care of us when we got older.  Upon hearing that I told Duang to tell them that I was counting on Peelawat to take care of me because he liked and understood "kao falang" (foreign food), if I counted on Perk, I was certain that I would starve.  We all enjoyed a great laugh.

I live in a country of strong traditions, manners, respect, and where people still deal with each other on a one to one basis.  For that I am very content and grateful.  Mothers Day is a special reminder and manifestation of that each year.



The Queen's Birthday and Mother's Day - Here in Thailand

Today, Thursday 12 August 2553 (2010), is the Queen's Birthday - a four day holiday in Thailand.  Since the Queen is considered to be the Mother of all Thais, on her birthday we also celebrate Mother's Day.  Respecting and taking care of your parents is ingrained starting at an early age in Lao Loum society.

Mai, Tay, and Their Mother Reacting to the Principal's Moving Speech

Yesterday, the last day of school for the week, we drove out to Tahsang Village to attend the Mother's Day celebration that we had been invited to during our visit a week ago.  Peelawat had spent the night before at our home so we brought him along with us.  Duang has a great deal of sympathy and compassion for the village children, "small small", so we brought some treats out to the school with us.  On our last visit we brought some bottled water and individual boxes of "Thai-Danish Dairy" milk for the students.  This time we brought them the "Mother of all Snack Bags"- two bags of flavored rice (what else would you expect?) snacks.  Each bag was about 2 feet in diameter and about 3 or 4 feet long.

We arrived just as the Prinicipal was finishing his Mother's Day Speech.  Whereas the school was perhaps the "Happiest Place On Earth" a week ago, it seemed to me to be a sad place when we arrived.  I think that Duang, Peelawat, and I were the only people with dry eyes.  Some of the smaller children, especially Peelawat's friends Mai and Tay, were actually wailing.  All the mothers in the assembly hall had been crying.  According to Duang, the Principal had given a very good speech to the children about how much their Mother loves them, how much their mother does to take care of them, and how when they finish school and their mother is old, they need to take care of her.  he also told the children that they needed to give their mother a kiss and a "wai" (Thai gesture of respect).  What I interpreted as sadness, with the exception of Mai and Tay, were actually tears of joy.  I have yet to see tears at a Lao Loum funeral and now I have to get accustomed to "tears of joy" at a Mother's Day celebration.  I am still learning but still appreciating Lao Loum culture.

Since we had donated to the celebration, I was invited to speak to the children and the mothers.  I gave a short speech in a combination of Lao, Thai and mostly English which one of the teachers translated.  I received polite applause but had come no where near bringing any one to tears.

A mother and her daughters plant a Frangipane shrub on edge of shool's play field

Everyone then went outside to plant flowering shrubs around the perimeter of the school's play field.  The school teachers had purchased the plants for improving the school grounds and to honor the village mothers. The plants are called "Lantom" in Thai and "Frangipane" a type of Plumeria.   As I was photographing the activity, the Principal called Duang over and gave her a plant for us to plant.  Duang, Peelawat, and their helpers, Mai and Tay, went and found a "Good" spot to plant the shrub.  After taking some photographs, I helped dig the remainder of our hole and assisted the children to finish the planting.

Duang, Peelawat, Mai, and Tay planting a Lantom (Frangipane)

Farmer Duang and her field hands Mai, Tay and Peelawat- Peelawat seems more interested in me than planting

After finishing our landscaping, we went to the front of the assembly building where crushed ice was being placed into plastic cups and then filled with a soft drink ladled out of a large metal bowl.  Mothers were occupied serving the prepared lunch foods to the children and then joined them on the floor to eat their lunch with the children.  I took advantage of the break in action to go off to explore the class rooms with Peelawat.  On my previous visit, I did not have my camera so this was a good opportunity to document aspects of a Lao Loum school in Isaan.

Students lining up for an ice cold drink on another hot and humid day in Isaan

Peelawat with his "treasure" - a plastic clothes pin that he found in the class room

The classrooms were empty with the chairs stacked upon the desks for the four day school holiday. Peelawat was an excellent assistant.  As I started to use the flash, he decided that he wanted his photograph taken.  I don't know if he is a ham or just wants to please his grandfather.  In any case it works for both of us.  After awhile we were joined by Gay from Tahsang Village and one of Peelawat's friends.  Gay likes his photograph taken so I was more than willing to accommodate him too.

Peelawat and Gay at school

Peelawat spent some time in the 3 and 4 year old student class room.  I took some photographs of the classroom as well as teaching aids in the room.  Just as in America the young students were learning their colors, animals and plants.  Unlike in America their posters were in Thai as well as in English.  Peelawat found the storage cupboard were the class stuffed animals were stored.  He selected  one of several identical stuffed animals, sat down in the middle of the room, and started sucking his thumb while he watched me taking pictures.  Every so often he let me know that he wanted his picture taken too.  Peelawat was getting tired and deservedly so.  He spent the night in his uncle's room at our house and had too much fun - all night long!  We figured he had only 5 hours sleep that night.  Fortunately at 3:00 A.M. when Peelawat wanted to come into our bedroom to "visit" us, Duang's son took Peelawat outside instead to walk the neighborhood to get him tired.

Peelawat Resting in the classroom

Duang came along after searching for us to let us know that it was time to take Peelawat back to his mother at his other grandmother's house.  Reluctantly we left and concluded our fun day at the school.  The celebration was a great tribute to the mothers.

I have been interrupted twice while composing this blog - Duang son gave her a small box with a carved soap flower in it.  As Duang has been sewing next to me I have heard her sniffling - she was not sad but happy inside.  I gave her a tissue and everything was under control until her daughter called to apologize for being angry with her mother before.  We now have more tears of joy.

Apparently my time is coming.  December 5 is the King's birthday so it is also Father's Day.  The school Principal told Duang that I would be honored by the children of Tahsang Village on that day.