Perk and Puii -Bai Sii Ritual, Their Wedding Ceremony |
Shamans Prepare for Perk's Bai Sii |
The afternoon before yesterday's wedding in Puii's home village, there was a gathering, party, and Bai Sii ritual in Duang's home village for her son. It was an opportunity for the Groom's family, neighbors and friends to gather to wish him the best in his upcoming marriage. It was also an opportunity to raise some money to help with the expenses associated in getting married here in Isaan. As part of the Bai Sii ritual in Tahsang Village for Perk, people made monetary offerings. Small plastic bags of raw beef were given to the people who made offerings. As I sat inside of my mother-in-law's market editing photographs from the past month and tending to our grandson, Peelawat, I witnessed a steady stream of people leaving the property with a small bag of beef or beef products. Here in Isaan, very little of a cow is wasted. Large bones were stacked on a plastic tarp most likely to be used for soup at a later date. A section of small ribs completely stripped of meat was being eaten off to the side by two of the village dogs. They were eating the ribs but not necessarily sharing the ribs. There were several growls and bearing of canines as they devoured their "share" of the ribs.
As is typical for these celebrations, Duang's family had blocked off the street in front of their house with pavilions, tables, and chairs. In the backyard, many men were busy cutting up beef and preparing meat for cooking. The men had started drinking early in the morning as they started preparing the beef. Many Aunts were busy cooking over an assortment of charcoal and gas fired burners. Duang, as Mother of the Groom had to be at the village early and supervise the preparations for the afternoon Bai Sii and proceeding party. I brought my computer along to keep me occupied while Peelawat slept. I do not drink when I am driving. When I am offered drinks I tell the people that I have to drive and that the "Police like falang (foreigner) too much". They know exactly what I mean, laugh, and do not take my refusal as a social slight or affront. I have been stopped several times by Police at roadblocks when I was driving alone but I have always been waved through the roadblocks when Duang has been with me. One time I gave the Police every piece of documentation that I had in the truck and on me but there still seemed to be some sort of a problem. I called Duang and gave the cellphone to the Policeman. When I got back on the cellphone, Duang was laughing, the Policeman was asking or was it "wondering?" if I could "give" him some money to buy a drink (I assume it was for a soft drink!). She said to give him 100 baht ($3) and we were all happy. A "speeding ticket" is 200 Baht so I hoped that I had purchased some good will on my way back home. Once I was stopped at a roadblock for speeding which I was certain that I was not. I protested but after coming to my senses I realized that paying the 200 Baht ($6 USD) fine was a great deal cheaper than any trouble I could be buying in fighting the charges especially with my limited Thai communication skills. However I would not want to be stopped for any "reason" and have alcohol my breadth - especially alone.
Three Year Old Kwan Seems to Know What to Do |
Kwan Checks With Her Grandfather For Reassurance During the Ritual |
Perk's Bai Sii Ritual |
An Aunt Wishes Perk Good Luck and Fortune |
In Isaan weddings take place on the morning of a predetermined day and specified time after consultation with a Monk who has the reputation for if not the ability to determine the future through study of numbers and other things. He can determine the most advantageous times for undertaking significant events or tasks.
Perk Assisted By His Cousin Walking to Puii's Home |
Perk and Part of His Extended Family On Their Way to the Bai Sii Ritual |
In many cases the dowry is used to finance the wedding reception with the remainder being returned to the bride by her parents. The payment of the dowry is a sign of respect and prestige as well as a financial aid to the bride's family. Saving face is a very important aspect of Thai culture. Another consideration of the sin sod is the fact that the groom goes to live with the bride's family either in their home or on their property in the parent's village. The new son-in-law will be responsible for taking care of the bride's parents and participating in the family's farming or other business. If his bride is the only daughter or the youngest daughter the groom through his wife will inherit the house and larger part of the lands.
Upon receipt of the Sin Sod, the bride's mother disappears to count the money. The Sin Sod is later publicly recounted with great fan fare as part of the wedding ritual.
Before the groom enters the bride's home he must cross two bridges or rather barriers. Each bridge is usually a gold chain held across the doorway, or as much of the doorway as it will stretch across, usually by younger relatives. If gold chain is not available any flexible barrier will serve the purpose. Each bridge is removed by paying a price - 200 baht in plain envelopes.
Puii Washes Perk's Feet |
The bride greets her husband to be at the doorway and washes his feet. Washing his feet is a public demonstration of her allegiance, and commitment to her future husband.
Pahn Sii Khwan |
The Buddhist religion does not have a sacrament of matrimony or a wedding ritual. The commitment of a man and a woman to each other is a pact between themselves with their community and sometimes as well as Monks wishing them happiness as well as good luck. Upon completion of their public commitment to each other and receiving the blessings of the community, the couple register their marriage at the local town hall to formalize their union. Monks did not participate in Perk and Puii's wedding ritual which is not all that unusual for a wedding ceremony here in Isaan.
The Shaman Ties Cotton String to Perk and Puii's Wrists to Bind the Spirits |
Cotton Strings Are Tied Around Wrist of Bride and Groom As They each Hold a Banana and Lump of Sticky Rice |
As part of the wedding Bai Sii ceremony well wishers crawl up to the Bride and Groom with a money offering. The offering is placed in their hand as the well wisher ties a cotton string around the wrist of each of them. When the well wishers have tied the strings, they go outside to enjoy the food and drink (soft drinks, beer, and whiskey) that have been set up. After the last well wisher has wished the newlyweds well, the Bride and groom give presents to their parents, grandparents, and selected relatives.
During the ceremony an elder of the village or shaman leads the people through the ritual. The bride and groom kneel before the low table or pillows with the left hand resting on the improvised altar. Their right hands hold a glass of alcohol - either beer or whiskey. In his right hand the groom also holds a boiled egg while his bride holds a ball of sticky rice wrapped in a banana leaf in her right hand.
The elder recites and chants from a book of prayers. Witnesses to the ceremony also recite some of the prayers. The prayers call all the spirits back into the body. The bride and groom light candles that are part of the ritual. A long string runs around the circle of the Bai Sii participants in the case of a wedding - the bride, the groom, and their immediate families - linking them together and with the spirit world.
Towards the end of the ceremony, the groom eats the egg and the bride eats the rice. The egg and rice are washed down with the alcohol to help nourish the 32 spirits.
The ceremony concludes with the shaman taking one of the cotton threads from the centerpiece and tying it around the right wrist of the groom and around the bride's left wrist. The new wife's family are next to tie strings around the wrist of the newlyweds. Everyone participates in removing a string from the centerpiece and binding the wrists of the groom and bride. The act of binding the wrists is also marked with personal wishes of good health and good luck for the couple.
After binding of the wrists, eventually the couple retire to the bride's bedroom where they sit together to receive blessings from their parents. They are now considered by the community to be man and wife now.
The couple then return to their guests and get down to some serious partying. Besides beer and whiskey, the guests are treated to special foods such as raw chopped up beef with chilies, cow's stomach, cow's veins, sticky rice, cooked pork, cooked liver, boiled pig skin, seafood dishes, fermented fish and vegetables. It is a time of great celebration.