Etiquette and Manners - How and Why They Matter

Peelawat Gives A Wai to the Shaman Who Has Treated His Foot

Being retired provides with me a great amount of time to do the things that I like to do.  I also have a great amount of time to think about many widely varied subjects.

Writing a blog and socializing on Facebook provides me with focus as well as motivation to explore different aspects of life.

Living overseas totally immersed a culture which is very different from the previous 46 years of my life experience stimulates me to be a better observer of human activities and interactions.  These observations give me the opportunity to share with others what a different part of the world is like from their part of the world.

My life long interest in photography is encouraged by the opportunities to document the culture, people, and sights of far away and exotic lands.  These lands are far from my origins in Groton, Connecticut.

I consider myself to be fortunate, not special because I was not raised that way, but fortunate to have all these opportunities and experiences. My mother often reminded me as a child that I was not special and deserving of treatment or consideration different than any one else.  Now that I look back upon that, that much reinforced lesson was a very valuable life lesson.  It was a lesson that lead to a happy and contented life.

Lately I have written blogs that now that I look back at them have a great deal of commentary related to Thai, more specifically Lao Loum, etiquette and manners.  Recently, I have had personal correspondence with a classmate of 43 years ago related to my 18 month old Lao Loum grandson's development of manners.  She has been teaching for four years in Florida and has lamented the lack of etiquette as well as manners of her elementary school students.  This does not surprise me for I have seen a lack of etiquette and manners in many children as well as some adults during my visits to the USA.

According to Wikipedia, not Wikileaks, "Etiquette is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary norms within a society, social class, or group."   Sounds good to me.  Works for me.

As for manners, Wikipedia states "Manners on the other hand are unenforced standards of conduct which demonstrate that a person is proper, polite, and refined"


This blog will focus not on which fork to use at a formal dinner, when it is acceptable to wear white clothing, or the proper salutation that should be used in a letter for various dignitaries but rather on the fundamental behaviors that are necessary for a society to function with minimal conflict with respect for individual considerations while ensuring that the overall needs of society for the greater good of all are addressed.

I look upon current events in the United States - the determined decision of a Muslim group to build a Islamic Center quite close to the site of the 9-11 attack.  I do not object to Muslims having a right or exercising the right  to worship and teach their religion.  However I am saddened that their apparent lack of empathy and understanding or perhaps their lack of etiquette and manners that prevents them to respect the sensitivities of the local population in order to come to a compromise that is good for every one.

Just this morning I read that a Christian group protested outside of a mosque in Bridgeport, Connecticut during worship.

In San Francisco, Catholic services were disrupted by Gay activists with some of them dressed up as Nuns.

A Christian fundamentalist group conducts hurtful and mean spirited protests at the funerals of fallen soldiers.

Comedians make crude and offensive sexually orientated remarks regarding the children of celebrities.

Some politicians lamented that a certain political figure had not been on board a plane that recently crashed killing several on board.

Where is their decency?

Yes, we all have a right to our beliefs and a right to express ourselves through protests or through the media if we so choose.  However just because we can does not mean that we should or at the very least ignore the sensibilities of others while exercising our rights.  I do not advocate the suppression of first amendment rights but I do believe strongly that they should be exercised with a greater deal of etiquette and manners.  The point of a protest should be to communicate rather than to humiliate or intimidate one's opposition.

Often groups as well as individuals seem to regress to childhood behaviors.  Remember when as a child you or someone you may have known got in trouble with an adult for doing something that was obviously wrong or dangerous.  Quite often the child's reply to the adult was "You didn't tell me that I could not do that"  This lack of taking responsibility for one's actions, blaming others for our transgressions, and avoidance of accountability is part of childhood development that is expected to cease with adulthood.  Today the same sort of foolishness gets played out in our society only it involves adults behaving as children rather than children going through a developmental stage.  Just because there is not a specific law, order, or directive which disallows a certain behavior does not mean that the behavior should be performed.  Etiquette and manners are the guidelines which should be considered in choosing our behaviors.

In the United States, politicians sully the chambers of our legislative temple, Congress, with their breaches of proper etiquette and good manners.  This diminishes them personally as well as diminishes the status of their office. It gives new meaning to the phrase that the "Inmates are running the asylum".   It is the lack of respect that leads to conflict as well as prevents collaboration as well as cooperation for the benefit of all.  For too many of our politicians their concern is no greater than for themselves or their allegiance is no greater of further than that for their political party.  This is nothing new, but I believe that it has never been worse or so seemingly widely accepted.

Young Thai Girl Giving a Wai to a Foreigner at a Festival

Surprised by a Photographer, a Lao Loum child gives a wai

Lao Loum children here in Isaan are taught etiquette as well as manners commencing at a very early age.  Toddlers are taught by their parents, extended family, teachers, as well as neighbors.  Interestingly and sadly I very often can identify a, "Thailang", a child of Thai and Falang parents based just on observing their behavior.

Training of young Lao Loum children commences with teaching them to respect, revere, and honor "Buddhas".  Buddhas are the Monks that are so prevalent in Thailand.  Children encounter Monks during the early morning when the Monks walk the streets and roads on their "Tak Bart" - morning merit making ritual to receive their food for that day.  Children, starting at birth, encounter Monks in rituals to obtain blessings, good luck, and wealth for the children and their families.  A visit to a Monk for medical concerns often precedes a visit to the clinic or hospital.  If the patient goes to the hospital or clinic first, their treatment is supplemented with a merit making ritual with a Monk at the local Wat.  Serious concerns or issues may require to a distant Monk who has greater renown and testaments to his powers or influence.  Since children participate in funerals and all the religious celebrations they are frequently visitors to the Wats, Buddhist temples.  Besides being religious centers, the Wats serve as social centers for local village life.

Isaan children are also taught to respect the King, Queen, and Royal Family at an early age.  At the risk of being accused of hyperbole, which I doubt I am guilty of, I would say that every house and business in Thailand has a picture of the King prominently displayed.  Many people will also have pictures of previous Kings on display.  The Royal Family are believed to be Angels sent down to assist and care for the Thai people.

A young Tahsang Village boy giving a wai

Respect for parents, elders and people of a higher rank or status are also ingrained into children starting at a very early age.  Of course as a child, they have to respect everyone.  This instills in the children a humble sense of identity. Lao Loum children do not believe that the world revolves them or that they are the center of the universe.  They know that they are loved by all but they have a role in society and a place in their society.  One of the tenants of Buddhism is the love of and caring for children.  This is a part of the religion that seems to be universally practiced.  Part of the love of and caring for children, involves teaching children etiquette and manners so that the children can be happy members of society.  Teaching the children the expectations and requirements of their society allows them to more easily integrate and positively contribute to their society.  Teaching etiquette as well as manners to the children also instructs the children as to their duties and responsibilities towards their society.  As I wrote the other day regarding the Mother's Day Celebration, children are taught that they have a duty and obligation to love and care for their elders.  The Thai government is not going to care for parents when they are old or can no longer work.  In this society it is the responsibility of the children to care for their parents and grandparents.

My friend, the teacher, indicated that many parents have ignored their responsibilities to teach etiquette and manners to their children.  I do disagree.  I also believe that schools have neglected their responsibility to teach etiquette and manners.  I suspect that my generation is largely responsible for this.  Back in the 1960s there was a strong sense of "Do your own thing" and an admiration for those who chose to live on the fringes of society.  There was a contempt if not rejection for traditional values and the etiquette as well as manners associated with "square" society.  I consider those attitudes to have been a developmental stage for my generation.  However as we became adults we did not appreciate the need for etiquette and manners.  We failed to grasp the need for society to delineate and communicate its expectations for social behavior.  Perhaps in our quest to be unconventional and to be "mod" we forgot the need to have a glue or cement that would hold our new society together while minimizing conflict.  The glue or cement is the etiquette and manners for our society.  We forgot the obligation of a society to define its expectations, and to provide a guideline for harmonious living.  We excused our dereliction of duty and laziness by saying things such as "Who am I to impose my standards on others?"  "Who am I to judge others?" - noble concerns but not justifications for inaction.

I as an individual should not impose my personal standards on others.  However as a member of a society I do have the duty to participate in the delineation of the society's standards and working to ensure that those standards are met by all members of the society - starting with me.  There is nothing wrong with a society having expectations for personal behavior and holding its members accountable to those expectations.  These expectations need to respect individual rights.  Individuals need to respect society's expectations and sensibilities.

Young Lao Loum mother giving wai to passing Monks

Much of the conflict in America today is attributable to the lack of etiquette and manners. If etiquette and manners could be better practiced and applied there would be less miscommunication and derisiveness.  With etiquette and manners a more effective dialogue could be entered into there by resulting in the resolution of issues to the benefit of the common good rather than the current state of diatribes and name calling which only hardens ideology.

To me, the greatest contribution by etiquette and manners to society is "RESPECT".  By practicing etiquette and manners, an individual demonstrates respect for that society.  By practicing etiquette and manners, an individual earns the respect of that society.

I do not agree with many of the political beliefs and philosophies of many of my friends - I suspect that they know that.  However we respect each other and etiquette as well as manners allow us to discuss our differences amicably with us often finding common ground.  It is exploiting "common ground" rather than delineating differences that will allow our society to move forward for the common good of all.

Perhaps this would be the "change" that so many Americans have been hoping for - and still waiting for.

Young Shan child gives a wai in Maehongson, Thailand

Here in Isaan I am confident that adults will continue to meet their responsibilities of teaching etiquette and manners to their children.  I am confident that the schools will continue to educate the children about their society's expectations.

 I hope that quality of life that we all enjoy here will continue.

Impressions - Dealing with Governments

Duang and I went to Bangkok on Monday and Tuesday of this week as part of our effort to obtain an Immigrant Visa for her to enter the United States.  Duang had been cleared by the United States Department of Homeland Security in Bangkok the week before.  On July 23 we received a form letter on plain paper with no letterhead or seal to distinguish the document as being "official" from the "AMERICAN EMBASSY" notifying us of how to apply for immigration to the United States.  The letter referred to attached instructions which were not included. Fortunately the instructions were referred to as enclosure "Packet 3" which I was able to download off the Embassy website.  The letter was from "Chief, Immigrant Visa Branch" but was unsigned.  With the clearance we are now dealing with the American Consulate in Bangkok.

As part of the next step in the Visa process, Duang must submit Police Clearance Certificates for every location where she has lived for longer than one year since she was sixteen.  Duang would need a Thai Police Certificate and a Brunei Police Certificate.  In the "Packet 3" which I had to download from the US Embassy Bangkok website, there were detailed instructions on how to obtain a Thai Police Certificate.  I have come to the conclusion that in bureaucratic matters it is best to deal with the bureaucracy face to face rather than through the mail.  Rather than attempting to obtain the Thai Police Certificate through the mail after obtaining photographs and fingerprints here in Udonthani, I decided it would be best to go directly to the Royal Thai Police Headquarters in Bangkok.

The US State Department website had information on how to get a Brunei Police Clearance Certificate.  According to the website, we needed to send a letter to the Police Commissioner in Brunei requesting the certificate, along with a copy of the current passport, copy of Brunei ID card if available, evidence of the duration of residency in Brunei, and a fee of 50 Brunei dollars.  This seemed too easy to be true.  I was concerned that the authorities in Brunei may not understand English.  Duang had lost her Thai passport for the period of time that she was in Brunei.  Fortunately she still has her Brunei ID card.  I was concerned about how to safely send 50 Brunei dollars - once I figured out how to obtain them!  Lastly I was concerned about any other "required" document requirements not listed.  All these concerns lead me to decide that it would be best to visit the Brunei Embassy in Bangkok to attempt to obtain the required Clearance Certificate.

On our last visit to Bangkok, on July 21-22, I had brought one of my camera lenses to the Nikon dealer for repair.  The lens was repaired and available for pick up.  Rather than transferring money electronically to pay for the repair and having the lens shipped to my home, I decided to pick up the lens myself while in Bangkok.

I made our travel arrangements over the Internet.  Two days after completing our arrangements, I received a "Warden's Message" from the US Embassy warning of unconfirmed threats of bombings against Thai government buildings and unnamed Embassies on Wireless Rd (our hotel location) during this week.  This explained the heightened security that we witnessed during our stay.

After settling in to our hotel we went to the Royal Thai Police headquarters - akin to visiting the FBI headquarters in Washington, D.C.  Akin, but I suspect definitely very different.  The Royal Thai Police Headquarters is a large complex in the heart of Bangkok.  It is a compound with many buildings inside of a two square block fenced area.  We approached the guard house and told the guard what we were there for.  He stepped out of his guard house and pointed out where we needed to go, Building #24, as he gave Duang instructions.  On our way to Building #24, we passed a parade square where a color guard of about 50 policemen were forming up with their weapons  stacked off to the side.  Duang was headed on a path that would take her close to the rifles.  I redirected her away from the weapons - I didn't want any one getting excited.

We found Building #24 without any difficulty.  We opened the sliding glass door and entered a large room filled with desks occupied by uniformed policemen.  The policemen were all relaxed and appeared to be quite friendly - unlike police stations that I have had experience with in California.  We were directed to sit at the first desk on the right at the room's entrance.  Duang told the policeman what we had come for and he reviewed our packet of documents that I had assembled.  He spoke to her in Thai and then to me in English.  He explained the steps that we would go through to obtain the certificate.  I noticed that on the side wall there was a huge poster in Thai as well as English illustrating and numbering the steps to apply for a Police  Clearance Certificate.  He complimented us on our packet of documents and directed us to a section of the room where there were several counters and chairs for people to fill out forms.  Two policemen were busy assisting people to fill out their applications - filling out government official documents is intimidating for many Thai people.

The next step in the process was to have a photograph taken.  After being photographed, Duang was fingerprinted.  She then took her package to a policewoman at one of the desks.  She reviewed the package, approved it, and told Duang that she could pick up the certificate in two weeks.  "Pick it up"?
I asked Duang if the Police could mail the certificate to us instead.  She checked and it was possible but we had to pay the postage - 40 Baht ($1.20 USD).  We had finished this task in 20 minutes at a cost of $1.20 USD.  I was impressed.  I was comfortable the entire time that we were in the office.  The Police were friendly, polite, helpful, and very well organized.  This was a pleasant experience as well as welcomed surprise.

Our next task was to pick up my lens.  I was very pleased with the repair.  Niks is more of a boutique than a store or shop.  Niks deals only in high end equipment and resembles a high end jewelry store.  There are comfortable chairs for customers to sit in as they wait for their merchandise.  I ended up speaking with a women from Dubai who visits Niks every six months to have her Nikon D3 and lenses cleaned.  This gave me confidence that I had brought my lens to the right place.  Sure enough they mounted my lens on a Nikon D700 and invited me to test it out.  My lens had been broken for almost a year so perhaps my memory has faded, but I swear and Duang agrees that the lens is sharper than it was before.  It is great.  The final cost was midpoint of the range that was quoted when I brought it in.  Another task of our trip was successfully completed.  Just as with the Royal Thai Police, I was impressed with the service, courtesy, and professionalism of Niks.

Test Shot of Duang with repaired lens

After leaving the lens at our hotel, we headed off to the Brunei Embassy.  The Brunei Embassy is located in a poorer neighborhood of Bangkok in a nondescript compound which easily could be mistaken for a a school or private residence.  There were two private Thai guards outside of the gate.  Duang told them what we were there for.  They allowed us through the gate and directed us to a small single story building.  We entered through a sliding glass door to a spartan reception area.  There wee two counters for filling out forms, Thai and English notices regarding instructions for obtaining Visas, and several chairs.  The front of the room was like a bank tellers station - narrow counter, glassed partition, and a small slot for passing documents.

After waiting about 3 minutes, a young woman appeared behind the glass.  She was not a Thai employee but an actual Brunei citizen.  Since Brunei is a sultanate and Muslim state, she was modestly dressed in a decorative silk long skirt, matching long sleeved blouse with a coordinated head covering - very similar to Muslim women in Malaysia.  She was very polite and friendly as Duang explained our purpose for the visit and the particulars of our situation.  It was apparent to me that the Brunei representative understood that we had a problem and that she accepted that it was her responsibility to assist us to resolve the problem.  She went to a cupboard and brought  a 3 ring binder to show me.  She opened it and showed me a letter to the Police Commissioner requesting a Police Clearance Certificate.  She waited patiently as I took notes.  She looked at the documents that I had gathered in accordance with the US Department of state website.  There were some additional documents that would assist in obtaining the certificate.  Fortunately I had them with me from our trip to the Royal Thai Police.  She assured us that Duang's missing Thai passport would not be an issue since she had retained her Brunei ID card.  The Brunei representative informed us that the fee was 1,101 Baht and if we came back the next morning with the letter she could send the request to Brunei.  We could expect to have the certificate in 1 to 2 months.

We returned to our hotel where I was able to use their business center to write the required letter and make copies of some of the documents.  It had been a great day.  A topic of discussion over dinner that night between Duang and I was the difference between the US Embassy and Brunei Embassy in Bangkok.  I am convinced that the difference in dealing with the embassies is attributable to Brunei using Brunei citizens to deal directly with the public whereas the US Embassy uses Thai citizens for much of the contact with the public.  At the Brunei Embassy the employee understood that the public's first impression of her country would largely be created and influenced by their dealings with her.

We returned to the Brunei Embassy the next morning.  Our experiences with the Embassy the previous day had not been a fluke.  The Brunei representative was just as friendly and HELPFUL as the day before.  Since Duang and I are married, I needed to provide a copy of my passport as well as a copy of our marriage certificate.  This was a new requirement.  I had my passport with me and the original Thai version of our marriage certificate but I did not have a copy of each.  I asked the woman where I could get copies made.  Without hesitation, she said that she would make them.  I asked what the cost would be.  She seemed almost hurt that I would think that there would be a charge for such a service.  She answered me quite energetically that there is no charge.  This was another pleasant surprise but consistent with my perception from the day before that she considered part of her job to solve and resolve problems.  She requested an English translation of our marriage certificate which I did not have with me but had back in Udonthani - another problem, another issue.  I asked her if I could have an email address to send the document upon our return to Udonthani. She gave me her email address - another problem solved.  Another issue was resolved with ease.  I wrote a note to her boss in which I stated how polite, professional, and helpful she was.  I stated that I had never been to Brunei but based upon our dealings with her, I had a very good impression of Brunei.

With some time to kill before our late afternoon flight back to Isaan, we went to see a movie at one of the huge commercial complexes in downtown Bangkok - my alternative plan if everything had worked out on this trip.  Everything had worked out well.

We got home in the early evening and I sent electronic files of the requested documents to her by 8:00 P.M.  The next morning, around 11:00 A.M. I received an email from her informing that she had sent the documents to Brunei and would call us when the certificate arrived in Bangkok - 1-2 months from now.

It had been a very good trip.  Once again a decision to deal up close and personal with people proved to be the best way to accomplish goals.  How many times have you tried to ask a simple question of a company or government agency that did not fit into their pre-designated categories of their automated phone answering system.  I suspect, that like me, you got lost in robot land and became disgusted before you hung up.  Perhaps, like me, you had some choice words - maybe some of the same choice words.

The quality of life suffers greatly when we ignore the fact that we are a world of people.

The quality of life suffers greatly when we ignore our responsibility to assist and help where as well as when we can.

The quality of life suffers when governments and companies forget that they serve people.

The service that we received at the Royal Thai Police Headquarters, Brunei Embassy, and Niks during our visit had made a strong and lasting favorable impression.  As the old saying goes - you often get only one chance to make an impression.  These organizations had made the most of their first opportunity with us.

The Queen's Birthday and Mother's Day - Here in Thailand

Today, Thursday 12 August 2553 (2010), is the Queen's Birthday - a four day holiday in Thailand.  Since the Queen is considered to be the Mother of all Thais, on her birthday we also celebrate Mother's Day.  Respecting and taking care of your parents is ingrained starting at an early age in Lao Loum society.

Mai, Tay, and Their Mother Reacting to the Principal's Moving Speech

Yesterday, the last day of school for the week, we drove out to Tahsang Village to attend the Mother's Day celebration that we had been invited to during our visit a week ago.  Peelawat had spent the night before at our home so we brought him along with us.  Duang has a great deal of sympathy and compassion for the village children, "small small", so we brought some treats out to the school with us.  On our last visit we brought some bottled water and individual boxes of "Thai-Danish Dairy" milk for the students.  This time we brought them the "Mother of all Snack Bags"- two bags of flavored rice (what else would you expect?) snacks.  Each bag was about 2 feet in diameter and about 3 or 4 feet long.

We arrived just as the Prinicipal was finishing his Mother's Day Speech.  Whereas the school was perhaps the "Happiest Place On Earth" a week ago, it seemed to me to be a sad place when we arrived.  I think that Duang, Peelawat, and I were the only people with dry eyes.  Some of the smaller children, especially Peelawat's friends Mai and Tay, were actually wailing.  All the mothers in the assembly hall had been crying.  According to Duang, the Principal had given a very good speech to the children about how much their Mother loves them, how much their mother does to take care of them, and how when they finish school and their mother is old, they need to take care of her.  he also told the children that they needed to give their mother a kiss and a "wai" (Thai gesture of respect).  What I interpreted as sadness, with the exception of Mai and Tay, were actually tears of joy.  I have yet to see tears at a Lao Loum funeral and now I have to get accustomed to "tears of joy" at a Mother's Day celebration.  I am still learning but still appreciating Lao Loum culture.

Since we had donated to the celebration, I was invited to speak to the children and the mothers.  I gave a short speech in a combination of Lao, Thai and mostly English which one of the teachers translated.  I received polite applause but had come no where near bringing any one to tears.

A mother and her daughters plant a Frangipane shrub on edge of shool's play field

Everyone then went outside to plant flowering shrubs around the perimeter of the school's play field.  The school teachers had purchased the plants for improving the school grounds and to honor the village mothers. The plants are called "Lantom" in Thai and "Frangipane" a type of Plumeria.   As I was photographing the activity, the Principal called Duang over and gave her a plant for us to plant.  Duang, Peelawat, and their helpers, Mai and Tay, went and found a "Good" spot to plant the shrub.  After taking some photographs, I helped dig the remainder of our hole and assisted the children to finish the planting.

Duang, Peelawat, Mai, and Tay planting a Lantom (Frangipane)

Farmer Duang and her field hands Mai, Tay and Peelawat- Peelawat seems more interested in me than planting

After finishing our landscaping, we went to the front of the assembly building where crushed ice was being placed into plastic cups and then filled with a soft drink ladled out of a large metal bowl.  Mothers were occupied serving the prepared lunch foods to the children and then joined them on the floor to eat their lunch with the children.  I took advantage of the break in action to go off to explore the class rooms with Peelawat.  On my previous visit, I did not have my camera so this was a good opportunity to document aspects of a Lao Loum school in Isaan.

Students lining up for an ice cold drink on another hot and humid day in Isaan

Peelawat with his "treasure" - a plastic clothes pin that he found in the class room

The classrooms were empty with the chairs stacked upon the desks for the four day school holiday. Peelawat was an excellent assistant.  As I started to use the flash, he decided that he wanted his photograph taken.  I don't know if he is a ham or just wants to please his grandfather.  In any case it works for both of us.  After awhile we were joined by Gay from Tahsang Village and one of Peelawat's friends.  Gay likes his photograph taken so I was more than willing to accommodate him too.

Peelawat and Gay at school

Peelawat spent some time in the 3 and 4 year old student class room.  I took some photographs of the classroom as well as teaching aids in the room.  Just as in America the young students were learning their colors, animals and plants.  Unlike in America their posters were in Thai as well as in English.  Peelawat found the storage cupboard were the class stuffed animals were stored.  He selected  one of several identical stuffed animals, sat down in the middle of the room, and started sucking his thumb while he watched me taking pictures.  Every so often he let me know that he wanted his picture taken too.  Peelawat was getting tired and deservedly so.  He spent the night in his uncle's room at our house and had too much fun - all night long!  We figured he had only 5 hours sleep that night.  Fortunately at 3:00 A.M. when Peelawat wanted to come into our bedroom to "visit" us, Duang's son took Peelawat outside instead to walk the neighborhood to get him tired.

Peelawat Resting in the classroom

Duang came along after searching for us to let us know that it was time to take Peelawat back to his mother at his other grandmother's house.  Reluctantly we left and concluded our fun day at the school.  The celebration was a great tribute to the mothers.

I have been interrupted twice while composing this blog - Duang son gave her a small box with a carved soap flower in it.  As Duang has been sewing next to me I have heard her sniffling - she was not sad but happy inside.  I gave her a tissue and everything was under control until her daughter called to apologize for being angry with her mother before.  We now have more tears of joy.

Apparently my time is coming.  December 5 is the King's birthday so it is also Father's Day.  The school Principal told Duang that I would be honored by the children of Tahsang Village on that day.

Tahsang Village School - Typical Isaan Elementary School

Tahsang Village Elementary School

Last week as part of our activity for applying for an Immigrant Visa for Duang, we went to Amphur Kumphawapi, sort of like a county office in the USA, to obtain a copy of Duang's first marriage certificate.  Although it was not specifically required to be submitted with our next submittal, the application packet stated that we should submit marriage certificates of previous marriages - if available.  I have had enough dealings with bureaucrats to realize that it is best to over submit documents than to hold back simply because it was suggested and not "required".

We brought Peelawat, our 18 month old grandson, to keep us or more accurately keep me company. The parking lot of the Amphur offices is a hot bed of monkey activity.  The monkeys live across the street in the large trees of the small park.  They cross the city street to mooch food from the people at the Amphur Offices.  Monkeys of all sizes, and ages can readily be seen sitting on top of parked cars and trucks, underneath the vehicles, and in general running all around the parking lot.  Many people feed the monkeys while awaiting their companions to complete their business in the offices.

Duang went in to see about getting a copy of her old marriage certificate while Peelawat and I went to observe the monkeys.  In Thai monkey is "Ling".  "Ling" is one of the few words that Peelawat speaks.  I had taken him to see the monkeys about two months ago.  When he went by the area a week later with his parents he pointed at the area and kept saying "Ling, Ling!"  They didn't understand what he was talking about until Duang explained that he and I had watched the monkeys for a half hour previously.  Peelawat also scratches his face with a huge grin, when you ask him about Ling Ling - just as the monkeys do.

On our last visit to the monkeys, Peelawat was very cautious.  I was too especially after I saw one monkey giving me the eye as I placed Peelawat's bottle of milk in my pants pocket.  I would have preferred to put in a shirt pocket but my shirts do not have pockets.  I am convinced that it would be better to hav e monkey run up to and start grabbing at your chest than at your pants pockets.  Since our last visit, Peelawat has taken on the job of chasing chickens and dogs out of his great-grandmother's village market.  He chases away cats that are often found at the Buddhist Wats (temples).  He does a good job until the animals stop, look at him, and then start to walk towards him.  He stops cold in his tracks, whips around and runs back to an adult.  I was not sure how he would react to the monkeys.

As we passed the shrine to a Royal Prince outside of the building, Peelawat stopped and gave a wai to the statue that was adorned with floral offerings.  He also gives this sign of respect on his own to Monks when he encounters him.  The family, like many Lao Loum families, teach their children at a very early age about respect, manners, and religion.  I pointed out some monkeys to Peelawat and he stopped.  He watched them, looked at me and as he pointed at them said "Ling Ling".  We saw some monkeys closer - sitting on top of some one's truck.  We walked closer with Peelawat holding my hand.  Peelawat let go of my hand and broke into a lively dance - both arms waving in the air to some internal rhythm known only to him, his feet were going up and down, he was "singing" something in his own language and he had a look of extreme joy on his face.  He was very happy to see the monkeys. We watched these monkeys until we noticed a man feeding some monkeys.  We got very close and watched for a long time.  The man gave Peelawat the bag of snacks, a sort of pretzel stick treat without the salt, so that Peelawat could feed the monkeys.  As I held Peelawat so that he could reach the top of the truck cab, he fed the monkeys enjoying every moment.

Duang was unable to get a copy of her old marriage certificate because a few years ago the Amphor office had burned down and many records were destroyed.  I guess that would explain the new cement block building being constructed next door.  No problem - my conscience is clear.  The certificate is not available so it will not be submitted.  Peelawat protested at leaving his furry friends behind but we had another treat planned for him.  We were going to the village school to get a certificate of Duang's attendance.

The elementary school that Duang attended for four years and the school that is still used for six grade levels is located on the main road just outside of Tahsang Village.  When Duang went to school, students attended when they became seven years old.  Today the children start when they are three years old.  The school is comprised of several buildings.  There is the main classroom building - an elevated 8 room wood structure.  There is an assembly hall about 10 meters by 10 meters square with a tile floor at grade.  There is a library building similar to the assembly hall but smaller.  There is a kitchen building.  There is a bathroom building.  A large playing field separates the school building from the road.  The school is typical of the schools scattered amongst the villages throughout Isaan.

Forty seven of Tahsang Village's finest attend the school.  They are instructed by 4 teachers (a couple of teachers instruct in more than one class at a time), a Principal, a Deputy Principal and acting Nurse, and Administrative person.

Typical Isaan School Classroom - Fit For Purpose

There are some differences in this typical Isaan school than schools in the USA.  First of all outside of the building there is a Buddhist shrine near the flagpole.  In the classrooms there is a religious Buddhist picture alongside a photograph of the King and a picture of the Thai flag. The Buddhist religion is an integral component of Thai daily living, Thai government, and Thai education.  Although 97% Buddhist and with Buddhism being the official state religion, Thailand is tolerant of other faiths.  I have seen and visited Catholic, and Protestant churches along with Hindu temples.  I have seen many Mosques and I have seen Mormon missionaries out and about on their bicycles.

School Corridor On A Rainy Day

Besides the religion aspects, there are other big differences between Isaan schools and American schools.  They are constructed out of wood rather than steel, brick and concrete.  The schools here do not have air conditioning which makes sense because the schools do not have glass in their windows or ceiling insulation or wall insulation.  The school windows do not have screens either.  There are a couple small fans in the class room to move the air around - just as in the student's homes.  The floors of the school are broad wood planking - I suspect teak wood.  The floors are smooth from many years of many students walking over them.

There is a TV mounted in a sturdy steel frame on the classroom wall so that media can be integrated into the teaching program.  There was also an old desktop computer on the teacher's desk of the classrooms.

The classrooms are illuminated by a couple of bare florescent tube lights - no reflectors or diffuser grids - just a bare tube - like in the student's home.  The school roof is corrugated steel with no sound damping application which must make for difficult hearing during downpours.  The classroom furniture is heavy wood and utilitarian.  I suspect that some of the chairs and desks that Duang used 39 years ago are still being used.  As in so many aspects of Lao Loum culture here in Isaan, the schools fully utilize what is available and take care of what they have.  There is a focus on items being "fit for purpose" rather than "stylish" or "modern".

There was no security guards at the Tahsang Village school or metal detectors.  Upon arrival, Duang, Peelawat, and I walked up the steep and narrow (for a foreigner) wood stairs to the outside corridor running the length of the building.  Two little dogs were resting outside of a couple of the classrooms.  I thought of either a nursery rhyme or first reader story about some little girl or boy's pet dog following them to school.  I was wrong - the dogs belong to the teachers.  Hell, it still makes a sweet story.  The dogs were well behaved and quiet.  The students seemed to enjoy their presence as the students wandered outside of the classroom to go to the toilet, to go to eat, or whatever reasons they had to be outside of their classroom.   Who knows it may be a head of its time.  Perhaps America will have "Take Your Pet To Work Day" to go along with "Take Your daughter to Work Day" and Take Your Son to Work Day"  Why is it that no one seems to want a "Take Your Spouse to Work Day"?

Peelawat is well known amongst the children of Tahsang Village.  Besides there being only about 250 people in the village, Peelawat's great grandmother sells ice cream cones out of her market.  The ice cream cones cost 5 baht - $0.15 USD with flavors like corn, mango, lemon, chocolate, chocolate chip and strawberry.  The children drop by for a treat and play with Peelawat, as he rests from his chicken and dog wrangling duties, for awhile on each of their many visits.  Peelawat is popular with the 11 year old boy who smokes cigarettes and was asked to quit school.  He carries his cigarette money in his ears.  He takes the coins out and sets them to spinning around on the tile floor much to Peelawat's delight.  He is very good with Peelawat so I suspect that he is not a "bad" boy but merely a "misunderstood" boy a la "The Fonz" from the old TV program "Happy Days".  But I have been wrong before ...

Classroom Entrance - Tahsang Village School

Word spread quickly that Peelawat was at the school.  As we walked along the corridor while Duang handled business with the Principal, many of "our" friends from the village came out to see us.  Peelawat was very interested in the school and students but he would not enter the classrooms.  A couple of the teachers came out to talk to us.  It was all very relaxed and informal.  Once again the Lao Loom sense of community was manifested.

In a year and one half, Peelawat will start school, so we stopped by the 3 year old students classroom to check it out.  They did not have furniture in their room - I suspect that besides being so difficult to keep them seated at a desk and chair, the furniture is too heavy for them to manage on their own.  The students were playing a game - a competition.  It was boys versus girls in a combination of relay race and pass the stuffed animal.  The two teams were seated next to each other in two long lines.  The race started with the first team member passing a stuffed animal over their head to the person behind them and so on.  The last person took the animal to the front of the line, sat down and started the process all over.  The winning team was the first team to get their starting player back at the head of the line.  With the teams comprised of entirely 3 and 4 year olds there was a great deal of confusion, laughing, giggling, and smiling with Peelawat cheering every one along.  I don't know who actually won and no one seemed to care.  They were having a great time.  I didn't spoil it by telling them that they were learning about cooperation, collaboration, competition and developing motor skills.

Peelawat and Gay At School - and you thought that "The Boy Named Sue" was a burden!!

Peelawat and I went back to the Principal's Office and discovered that they had retrieved Duang's record of attendance and transcript.  In one of the many ledgers in cabinets along the office wall they found Duang's records - handwritten in beautiful penmanship.  It appeared that we had arrived just in time with our request.  The ledger was well on its way to decay from non-archival storage as well as high acid content paper.  37 years had taken its toll on this ledger.  The Administration person was in the process of inputting the hand written information from the ledgers into a lap top computer.  It never ceases to amaze me how much hand written paper ledgers are used today here in Isaan.  Oh yeah and keeping them in non air conditioned as well as high humidity wood buildings.  We socialized awhile with the school officials and were invited back for this week's (Wednesday's Mothers Day Celebration)

Just like I have written about the differences in medical care and more importantly medical care costs here in Isaan as opposed to America, I have the same conclusion regarding public education here in Isaan.  A great deal of the costs of public education in America is involved in the physical facilities as well as maintenance of those facilities.  These costs of monuments, vestiges, and trappings of the current education system to greater glory, honor, prestige and power of politicians and local school boards do not necessarily pay dividends in the quality of the student's education.  Here in Isaan the facilities no way compare to those in the USA however the students seem to get the education that they need for this society.

Due to economic or surviving considerations, she needed to work in the fields to support the family, my wife only was able or rather allowed to attend four years of school.  However, she can read and write Thai.  She has excellent addition and subtraction skills.  So it was and even today, for many village children, so it is today

Over My Head - The Ramakian

Wax figures from a processional float - three faced figure depicts the Hindu Lord Brahama

In my first blog regarding the Ubon Ratchathani Candle festival, I wrote briefly about many of the wax figures and panoramas being from the "Ramakian" - the epic Thai classic literary work.  The "Ramakian" is based upon the ancient Indian epic the "Ramayana".  The plots are identical but in the "Ramakian" modifications have been made to include Thai style of dress, Thai geography, and a Thai sensibilities to the legends.  It is a complicated and very exotic legend of creation, heroes, villains, love and war - a little something for everyone.  Both the "Ramakian" and the "Ramayana" are epic sagas in the same magnitude, scope, as well as importance to culture as other epics such as "Beowulf", "The Song of Roland", "Odyssey", and "Gilgamesh".

In Bangkok at the Wat Phra Kaeo there are fabulous murals depicting scenes from the "Ramqakian".  Over a year ago I wrote a blog about these murals.

http://hale-worldphotography.blogspot.com/2009/03/ramakian-murals.html

The "Ramayana" is believed to have been transported to Thailand and southeast Asia by traders.  The fact that a classic work of Indian literature would serve both as an inspiration and be absorbed into Thai culture is not surprising.  It seems to be an inherent trait of Thai culture to accept, tolerate, and incorporate different aspects of other cultures.  Just as Thai food is a sophisticated blend of tastes, textures, and sensations, Thai culture also reflects a long and varied assimilation of thoughts, traditions, and beliefs from different peoples.  Much of the process was precipitated and motivated by the many different wars of conquest and occupation in the region.  The Thai animist religion was absorbed into the Hindu religion which was absorbed into the current Buddhist religion to the point that beliefs, practices, and rituals of all three religions exist and flourish here in Isaan - indistinguishable from each other under the generalized identity of Buddhism.

Wax float with a large "Naga" along its side

In the Ramakian there are many fabulous mythological creatures - composite creatures that reside in the mythological Himmapan Forest.  The composite creatures are part one animal or human and part another animal.  There are Rhino, Monkey, Cattle, Fish, Bird, Crab, Naga (serpent), Crocodile, Canine, Horse, Lion, and Deer based creatures.  My personal favorite is the "Thep Kinnaree"

The "Thep Kinnaree" is the most beautiful creature in the Himmapan Forest.  It is one half woman, the top half and one half swan, the bottom half.  There are golden Kinnaree statues lining the road leading to the main terminal at Bangkok's international airport.  There are also many Kinnaree at the Grand Palace in Bangkok.  The male counterpart of the Kinnaree are "Thep Kinnanorn"- top half is a male human with the bottom half being a "Hongsa" - a mythological bird with a long beak.

The Himmapan Forest is located in the Himalaya Mountains below Buddhist heavens - not all that far from Thailand .  However us mortals can neither see, approach, or enter the forest which is unfortunate.  I would love to visit and photograph some of the exotic creatures there.

There are many depictions of Himmapan creatures in the art of India, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, China and other countries in Asia.  There are many different creatures and many of them look very much alike.  In researching what sights I had seen on the wax floats at the Ubon Ratchathani I easily became confused and overwhelmed by the minute differences between some of the creatures - sort of trying to differentiate the meaning of some Thai words that due to the tonal aspects of the Thai language have 5 very different meanings depending on how the word is pronounced!  After awhile many of the different creatures started to look all alike.

I did find a very helpful and useful website to learn or at least to try to learn more about the Himmapan Forest and its mythological inhabitants.  It is well worth the effort to browse the website below"

http://www.himmapan.com/about_himmapan.html

The legends and creatures of the Ramakian as well as aspects of Hindu writings were heavily represented in the wax work adorning the floats created for the Ubon Ratchathani

Erawan the mythological 33 headed elephant - typically shown with only 3 heads

Depression Era Documentary Photography

Through a friend on Facebook, I was made aware of this website.

http://blogs.denverpost.com/captured/2010/07/26/captured-america-in-color-from-1939-1943/2363/

It clearly demonstrates the power of photography to capture a moment of time for all time.

These photographs serve both as an inspiration and a motivation to me.

If you have any connections, please let President Obama or someone else in the government that I am willing to do a similar job today - just cover our expenses and give Duang a Visa.  LOL

Maybe I stand a better chance over here with the King.

Ubon Ratchathani Candle Festival - Part 3 - Conclusion

After spending time talking with some of the other visitors to the Festival, we headed over to the grandstands directly opposite the grandstand.  Once again Duang and I had a discussion regarding whether or not you needed tickets or pay money to sit in such a prime location for the night procession.  We asked a man and his wife who were seated in the bleachers if it were necessary to have tickets or to pay money to sit in the bleachers.  They assured me, Duang was already convinced, that it was not necessary.  I had Duang wait while I climbed the bleachers to find an optimum location.  From watching the previous night's procession, I had some ideas for better lighting, perspective, and locations to minimize the interference from the scaffolding supporting the overhead canopy.  After three unsatisfactory selections, I settled on the fourth location.  Duang joined me at the last row of the bleachers slightly to the left where we had sat the night before.  We ended up sitting next to an off duty policeman and his family.  They asked me if we had similar Festivals in America.  I told them that we did not have a candle festival and that in America many people complain about having any religious celebrations involving the government.  I told him that we had a Rose Parade in January with floats that are made out of flowers, seeds and plant materials.  I pointed out that for seats like we were enjoying, people would have to pay money - big money.   I estimated that seats across from the grandstand would cost $100 each.  I have since done research and the cost is actually $88 each.  The policeman explained to me through Duang that the Police and government pay for everything so that the people can enjoy the festival for free.  The Thai people took full advantage of the free festival.  As so often we observe at events in Isaan three and sometimes four generations of families attend the events.

After settling in at our bleacher location, I decided to go to the bathroom at the Wat behind us.   I knew that once the bleachers had filled leaving and returning would be very difficult.  One of my guidelines for our travels is "Eat where you can.  Go to the bathroom when you can.  If you ignore both opportunities,  The Wat had many buildings inside of its perimeter walls and I knew that one of them was a public restroom.  Duang remained in the bleachers to retain our prime FREE seats and to guard my backpack of camera gear.  As I entered the Wat's grounds and turned left I was very pleasantly surprised - several groups of young women were preparing themselves for night procession.  This was my main objective for the evening - to have the opportunity to photograph the dancers up close and in good light.  After using the restroom, I rushed back to Duang, retrieved my backpack, told Duang where and what I would be doing, and returned to the young women.

The dancers were university students that performing various traditional dances during the processions.  Some of them were finishing their dinners while others were applying their make up.  Some of the young women were being assisted with their make up by Kathoeys (Ladyboys).  The women were quiet and beginning to mentally prepare for the evening's performance.  As so often happens here in Thailand, they started posing for the camera - my camera.  I informed them with my very limited Thai and pantomime that they needed to ignore me and just be themselves.  I especially made a point of informing them that I did not like the "V" gesture with their fingers.

After a while, my favorite group from both the night before and the morning procession formed up.  They started to rehearse and warm up for the evening procession.  It was very interesting as well as entertaining to witness their grace and take in their beauty as they went through their preparations.  As o often happens here, the people were pleased to have their photographs taken.

I moved on to another group of university women who were also preparing for the evening's performance. Some of the woman were going to dance the "Fawn Leb", a very special dance that involves very graceful movements of the hands with the movements accentuated by long fingernail extensions.  I had previously seen the Fawn Leb performed with brass fingernails but these women had fingernail extensions with red pom-poms at the ends - something new.

While I was photographing this group of dancers, Duang showed up to get me to return to our bleacher.  She was concerned that if I delayed much longer it would be difficult to climb up through the crowd to our places.  I returned with her and got teased by the policeman about my wife having to come get me because I was spending too much time with the young women.  I suspect that was also the second reason that Duang came and got me.

The night procession was similar to the procession the night before but lacked the merit making aspect of offering candles to the Monks.  Fortunately there was also less rain than the night before.  Although we had seen the dancers and floats the previous night, we thoroughly enjoyed the entertainment.  The parade concluded around 9:00 P.M. so we were able to stop and have a pizza for dinner before they closed.

The next morning we left Ubon Ratchathani for our home in Udon Thani, six hours away.