29 August 2008 - Yes We Can - We Can Choose How We Live

Friday, August 29, 2008
Yes We Can - We Can Choose How We Live

Couldn't resist the opportunity to usurp the political slogan of the moment. I was wondering just what we can. I then answered my own question - all on my own. Yes, we can determine how we live our life or depending on your religious beliefs - our lives.

Ninety-five percent of the people in Thailand are Buddhists. Buddhism and secular life in Thailand are tightly in twined and woven into the social fabric. There are over 27,000 Wats, Buddhist temples, in Thailand. I believe that you are never more than 5 miles from a temple anywhere in Thailand. Thailand is 198,000 square miles in area slightly larger than the state of California. I just finished running the math and it equates to one Wat per 7.3 square miles of area - so I'll stick with the 5 mile estimate.

The Buddhist temples are the centers of religious as well as social life throughout Thailand. In some areas they also retain their role in providing education. The Wats and their resident Monks provide moral support and give social guidance and advise the people on all types of affairs.

To better understand and appreciate life in Thailand, it is best to know a little about Buddhism as it is practiced here. The vast majority of Buddhists here are followers of the Theravada School of Buddhism which is different from the practice in China and Tibet.

The Theravada School derived from the origins of Buddhism in Southern Nepal.

According to Buddhist beliefs, wealth, reputation, and passion are an illusion.

There are four noble truths that are the foundation of Buddhism. They are:

Life is suffering and misery

Desire is the cause of suffering

Misery can be ended by eliminating desire

Buddha's eightfold path stops the continuous cycle of birth and rebirth.

The manifestation of these beliefs and their application creates a tolerant and polite Thai society.

People in Thailand are not as pre-occupied with structuring their lives based upon what other people may or may not expect them to do. How else could you explain a man going public that he had married a snake, a national hero in Thailand is a Muay-Thai champion who used his earnings to finance his/her sex change operation, a subculture focused on gender-bending Lady-Boys, and an internationally renowned promiscuous culture?

The guiding principle is to not cause harm to others. "Others" are guided by the philosophy that if it is not harming other people and the people are happy doing whatever it is, then it is tolerable.

When I was working on a project in Thailand there were some difficult issues that I was struggling with and I was not effectively dealing with. These issues related to my reputation, my authority, and my passion for my job.

Duang, at that time, spoke only a little bit of English. She knew that I was suffering and struggling with the situation but did not understand the importance of the situation to me. She kept advising me that I was thinking too much. She would admonish me for thinking, thinking too much and that all the thinking was not good for me. She told me that everything would be alright and to not to worry about too many things. One night she actually advised me to quit my position as Project Field Engineer for a large international engineering/construction company and go to work as a clerk at the local market. I appreciated her concern and recognized her wish that I be happy. I had understood and accepted her support from my Western perspective.

How many times have you listened to someone's litany of misery, woes, and problems to only advise them to "Don't worry. It will be alright" when we had no idea what else to say to help or just wanted to stop our discomfort.

I believed that Duang was reacting as others have so often done in these situations.
This all changed one night in Vietnam while watching the National Geographic television program "Light at the End of the World". This program series is about a man who travels around the world to remote areas to explore and document different philosophies and cultures.

During this episode, he was in Nepal exploring and examining the origins of Buddhism. The lights and bells went off in my head when I heard him state that one of the tenents of Buddhism was that worrying and preoccupation with thinking were causes of our misery and unhappiness. Whereas I had viewed Duang's support as a social courtesy, she had actually been giving me and sharing with me her steadfast spiritual beliefs.

While working on a project in Brasil, we had a visit from our home office Project Manager. The project was going very well in all the important parameters - safety, schedule, costs, and quality. If we had not made some mistakes, the project would have been going extremely well. As it was we were only doing very well. The Project manager advised the site management team that I was a member of, in somber tones and with a threatening tinge that if we didn't improve rapidly we would end up looking for new jobs. I immediately took offence that anyone would actually believe that in threatening our reputations and economic security our performance, commitment, and efforts would be improved. It was arrogant. It was insulting. It is all too common in our culture.

That night, I attended a party in the local village adjacent to the jobsite. I ended up being the only foreigner there. The party was held at one of the worker's house - a two room brick house with a concrete patio which had a metal roof. The home was very modest in all aspects. In the USA the house although clean would have been considered a very poor person's home. There were about 12 of us at the party drinking Skol beer, and pinga (Brasilian rum). We dined on sausages, chicken parts, pork, and some cheaper cuts of beef. There was singing, dancing, joking, and a high degree of camaraderie. I was reminded of French Canadian family gatherings when I was a child.

A pagode band comprised of three musicians showed up. These young men were poor - their guitar amplifier was the size of a 24 volt truck battery. No matter the fact, they could play and played very well. Sitting there and observing my surroundings, I reflected upon their situation, my situation and events of that day at the jobsite.
There was all this good drink, good food, music, camaraderie and happiness. I recognized that in my world in the USA I had so much more than these people. I had more money, more education, more power, more glory, more responsibility than the people who were sharing a part of their life with me. I realized for all that I had more than them, I was not any happier than them. I somewhat reluctantly suspected that they might even be happier than me. As we enjoyed the party, the subject of impending doom and gloom as threatened by the Project Manager came up. I informed the group that I was prepared. If it happened, my plan was to get a bottle of pinga and sing in a pagode band!

People only have the power over our lives that we give them. It is through laziness and fear that we allow others to become responsible for our happiness.

Life is a series of choices. Our happiness is dependent upon the choices that we make or do not make. But our choices need to be our own based upon what we believe to be best for us. We need to be prepared to pay for the consequences of our choices.

We are only truly free when we make and live by our own choices.

Looking back now I see so much of my life leading to where I am today.

I have made choices. I am happy.

I hope is that everyone will choose to be happy.

Happiness has no geopolitical, socio-economic, or religous restrictions.

It is there for the taking. It is there for all.